Posts Tagged ‘Mimi Thorissen’

Don’t Try So Hard To Have A Great Relationship

Mac in the tree

MacKenzie Crosby Being Herself

One morning, I had a few minutes to wait in the doctor’s office before my blood test. For something to do, I looked at my phone and noticed that my daughter MacKenzie had tagged me on Facebook. She sent me an article by Mark Manson (author, thinker, life enthusiast). What MacKenzie sends is always interesting, so I clicked on it.

Here’s the link for the blog, but be forewarned that it’s impressively adorned with profanity. Don’t go anywhere near this writer if you’re offended by such.

(The author published a bestseller book this month with a 4-letter word, yes ma’am, in the title itself, so apparently he sprinkles swear words like salt and pepper.)

Because he’s rough around the edges, but in your face funny, I recommend him in small doses, especially if you’re in the mood for a kick in the pants.

Apparently, I was in the mood.

This blog of his made me laugh in the Doc’s office, you know where it’s quiet and people say nothing as they thumb through Better Homes and Gardens or stare aimlessly off into space. 

The waiting room was full of old people. They were so old that not one of them was looking at a smart phone. They were not emailing or texting or checking their messages. They were sitting, waiting patiently for their turn. Imagine that.

So there I was, where it’s somber and medical and serious, and I’m the odd one out, helplessly entertained by what’s on my smart phone. It reminded me of being in Quaker Meeting with my brothers and sisters long ago, when my brother would do something funny and the rest of us learned to practice deep breathing so we didn’t get in trouble.

I looked up every once in a while to see if anyone was disturbed or upset with me breaking the silence. But nope. They were pretending it wasn’t happening, you know, like Quakers waiting on word from the Lord. I have no clue how they managed this, but there you go. Such admirable focus! 

The author’s style was hilarious, and so was the contrast between what I was reading and where I was sitting. His words were so true that it sent me right over the edge in the best way possible. He’s a writer that can call you stupid right to your face and you think it’s the best joke ever.


Mark’s article makes the case that your passion is always boldly, blatantly right in front of you, if you remember how you were naturally as a kid.   He says, “A child does not walk onto a playground and say to herself, ‘How do I find fun?’ She just goes and has fun.”

He makes the case that that’s exactly how you find your passion. You go and do what’s fun to you, and there it is! 

According to Mark, “If you’re passionate about something, it will already feel like such an ingrained part of your life that you will have to be reminded by people that it’s not normal, that other people aren’t like that.”

When you dive into something and forget time? That’s it, that’s your passion. Maybe you’re good at wandering and exploring. It’s something you could build a life on, don’t you think?

Maybe you enjoy tinkering with recipes. Look how these women turned their tinkering into an epic lifestyle with thriving families and quite the loyal following:  Manger with Mimi Thorissen. Medoc, France.     Smitten Kitchen with Deb Perelman. New York City, NY.


So here’s what I think. I think you find a great relationship the same way that Mark says you find your passion. You do what you do, be who you are, and BAM! Your playmate shows up. (What’s NOT like you doesn’t find you and play with you, only what’s like you finds you — naturally!) You end up on the same playground with your playmate — playing! And you say hello! And then arrange for another play date!

Isn’t that simple pie?

If you’re in a relationship, you improve it the same way. You do what you do and be who you are. You’ll have bonus fun with your playmate where your fun intersects.  You know — have fun, express yo-self, and life has a way of working out.

Now go be yourself and have some fun.

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Test Your Food Smarts Against the French and Italians

garlicWritten by Terri Crosby for In Care of Relationships

In this wonderfully decadent season of “Please pass the gravy” and “Yes, I’ll have another piece o’ that pie, thank you!” it’s good to remember what food really does for us. Food is medicine.  Natural food, grown in the ground is REALLY good for you. So in honor of Thanksgiving leftovers and the beginning of yet another December season of FOOD, lots of food, heavenly food — today I’m writing about our relationship — with — hooray — FOOD! The first entry is about vision, which is of (personal, family, genetic) interest to me, and the one about celery is useful knowledge.  The rest are more about what the Italians and French know that we Americans might not.


QUESTION:  Do carrocarrotts really help vision? Depends on who you talk to or what you read, but mostly, in a round about sort of way — yes.  It’s easy to remember that carrots relate to vision because a cross cut carrot looks like, well, an eye! Good eyesight seems to be more connected to genetics, however, than to consumption of food. But carrots seem to help maintain what you already have. So don’t leave out the carrots. Most science says that carrots give eyes a boost because they contain beta-carotene, which the body converts into vitamin A, an essential vitamin for healthy vision. Vitamin A, also called retinol, is key in fighting vision problems like cataracts, glaucoma, macular degeneration and night blindness.  It is found most abundantly in fish oils, liver, eggs and fortified dairy products. However, if you don’t eat animal products (or eat enough of them), you can get plenty of vitamin A by eating fruits and vegetables that contain carotenoids like beta-carotene, or “provitamin A.” Bright yellow or orange fruits like carrots, apricots and sweet potatoes are good sources of beta-carotene, while green leafy vegetables, especially broccoli, are rich in the carotenoids known as lutein and zeaxanthin. Of the 600-plus carotenoids found in nature, only lutein and zeaxanthin and their metabolites are located in macula of the eye. Lutein is important if you have signs of macular degeneration — way more important than eating your carrots.  One reason — Lutein absorbs blue light and acts as ‘internal sunglasses’ that may reduce photochemical damage caused by short-wavelength visible light. And take Lutein that is labeled with the Flora-Glo trademark.  The short story is that it’s better.


tomatoesQUESTION: What do the French and Italians know about tomatoes that Americans may not? Big Hint:  A tomato has chambers and is red. The heart has chambers and is red.  Tomatoes — especially cooked — are one of the best sources of lycopene, which is the carotenoid pigment and antioxidant that gives tomatoes their bright color.  According to Harvard Medical School, one slice of raw tomato contains approximately 515 micrograms of lycopene, while 2 tablespoons of tomato paste contains 13,800 micrograms.  Big difference. Cooked is better, when it comes to lycopene. In one European study, those who consumed the most lycopene cut their risk of heart attack and heart disease by 50%.   With that in mind, it’s no surprise, that the Italians and the French, who love their tomato sauce, boast a much lower heart disease rate than the United States. Besides, maybe the Italians and the French live a slower, less stressful lifestyle and enjoy life more than we do???  They certainly believe in luxurious meals, tastes and conversation.  All of it helps! Other lycopene foods include watermelon, pink & red grapefruit, papaya, guava and rose hips. So when you’re thinking about your heart, think red! Beets, for instance, protect your heart by reducing the amount of bad cholesterol in the blood, and increasing the amount of good cholesterol in the blood. Nice to know. french lifestyle


QUESTION: Are grapes just a handy sugar snack?grapes cluster Big Hint: Grapes hang in heart shaped cluster. Grapes are good for many things other than their sweetness. Grapes are an excellent source of health promoting flavonoids. Typically, the stronger the color of the grape, the higher the concentration of flavonoids.  The regular consumption of wine and grape juice by the French may explain the “French paradox.” The French eat a diet high in saturated fats and cholesterol and yet have a lower risk of heart disease than Americans. (Or maybe the French just have more fun?) Flavonoids in red wine and grape juice seem to increase the antioxidant capacity of the blood, protect against vascular damage, and prevent blood platelets from clumping together and causing those pesky clots. Grapes also have something called resveratrol, which reduces the buildup of plaque in arteries.  It has also been shown to have anti-cancer effects and anti-inflammatory action. Fresh grape skin contains about 5 to 10 mg of resveratrol per serving, while red wine concentrations range from 1.5 to 3 mg per liter. So go ahead, eat your grapes!  Think red or black grapes, and think raw, which is pretty easy when it comes to grapes. Unfortunately, you probably can’t depend on wine alone to get the flavonoids and resveratrol you need. (Darn it.) But here’s something wonderful, speaking of the French.  Here is my all time favorite food blog, hands down, no question about it.  It’s called Manger, and it’s written by Mimi Thorisson, who lives in Medoc, France.  Check it out.  It’s totally, ridiculously gorgeous.  Good Lord.  The woman cooks all day, has children and looks like a model.  Good Lord.  (Yes, I know I’m repeating myself.)

CELERY celery

QUESTION:  How in the heck does silly ol’ crunchy celery help bone health?
Big hint:  Think Calcium and Vitamin K.
University of Maryland Medical Center says that vitamin K is vital for the proper utilization of calcium by your bones, and can improve bone health and help prevent fractures. High levels of vitamin K are associated with greater bone density; low levels often correspond with osteoporosis. Males over 19-years-old need 120 mcg a day of vitamin K, while women over 19 need 90 mcg.
One large stalk of celery contains 26 mg of the essential mineral calcium. Calcium, the most abundant mineral in the body, is vital to the development and maintenance of strong bones.  In order for calcium to be properly absorbed, vitamin K — along with the essential minerals magnesium and phosphorus — must be present.  
A celery stalk offers up to 7 mg of magnesium and 15 mg of phosphorus, thereby providing all the nutrients essential for bone health.
And by the way, Bok Choy is right up there with celery when it comes to bones.

OLIVESolives and olive oil

QUESTION:  What’s the big deal about olives except that they taste oh-so-good? Big Hint:  Think “good fat…” Olives have really good fat. Olives have very little carbohydrate and they are a great source of monosaturated fat.  Olives are a rich source of polyphenols which are critical as our body’s defense against cancer. Polyphenols have many good properties, and these elements (also the reason for the taste and the smell of the olives), can be anti-inflammatory as well.

onions and garlic


QUESTION:  Besides the olfactory advantage — smelling great as they are sauteing — what do onions and garlic do for our bodies? Big Hint:   Think “anti.” You could say that onions and garlic work against.  Or you could say they stand for something that doesn’t allow other things — they are anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal, anti-bacterial, anti-viral. That’s pretty “anti!” And that works FOR us! Onions and garlic also improve immune function, thin the blood (to control blood pressure), increase anti-oxidants, fight free radicals in blood, and increase blood circulation.  They are rich in chromium, Vitamin C, B6 and selenium. What do you know and appreciate most about eating good, healthy food?  Do share in a comment below!


For more information about In Care of Relationships, click here.

About Terri Crosby — I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains with Eric, my partner of 14 years, two cats and a dog, and as many flowers and vegetables as I can plant.  I love really good food!

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Intimacy Is Everywhere

Hello Everyone,

Today, intimacy.

Love to you all,

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Friday Love: Bam! Gate Breaking, Anyone?

Good Friday, Everyone!

Today, I’m sharing a story about how I accidentally accomplished something on my bucket list. I ran through an exit gate while looking the other way. The hood of my car is scratched up, and one windshield wiper is a mess, but let’s have a good laugh about how we never expect what “getting what we want” includes!

Let me know if you relate…

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Enough with the Name-Calling

It seems to be a growing fad these days to call someone a narcissist, or declare they are toxic.
Political name-calling is similar—we assign politicians and voters to categories, and brush them off as if they are unintelligent, inferior, or even worthless.
By labeling others, we miss their humanity. We gloss over their struggle, their best effort at dealing with life. We dismiss them.
We do to them what we believe they are doing to others.
Look past a label, and in the soft light of day, there stands a person like you or like me, coping as best they can. At the end of the day, no friend, parent, or lover making conscious choices intends to be mean, or to ignore, or to embellish. There is always more to the story.
If we label others, then for sure we label ourselves. We trap ourselves into believing we are less than. Or not enough. Or we don’t give ourselves the time and forgiveness to work through our “stuff.” Maybe, if we stopped accusing others of narcissism, we could forgive ourselves for those moments when we were narrow-minded, inconsiderate, or afraid.
When it comes to labels, nobody wins.
So, my dear people, I suggest we peer a little deeper into ourselves to investigate a need to separate ourselves from others by tacking them with a label filled with disdain or scorn.
It is my wish that you view this video and take it to heart.
Much love,

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Terri Crosby

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