The week is almost gone, with no post from me! Oh, no!
I’ve been working on a couple of pieces of writing that aren’t ready for prime time, thus the delay. (Is it ready now? No. How ’bout now? Nope.)
I thought about giving you Thanksgiving dinner advice like “behave yourself” and then the hilarious visual of y’all attempting to do that made me fall off my chair laughing, plus the obvious fact that there’s no way I could follow the advice myself.
Or I could tell you “don’t eat so darn much” (right, that’s gonna happen).
But I couldn’t follow that advice, either, nor would I want to, since that would oppose the very idea of Thanksgiving.
I can only tell you that if you’re in the neighborhood of Hendersonville, NC, join me at Brightwater Yoga the day after Thanksgiving.
On Friday, November 24 at 9:30 am there’s a special post-Thanksgiving class called “Yoga For Digestion” with (yoga goddess) Lynn Edgar.
Come early, it’s always a full class (pardon the pun).
So today, I’m offering my favorite yam recipe for Thanksgiving, one that has become a favorite of many solely because of yours truly (“Terri, you can come to Thanksgiving — and are you bringing those yams by the way?”)
They are unbearably delicious. And easy to make. A happy taste surprise in the middle of all that gravy.
ROASTED YAMS WITH LIME AND HONEY
About 4 lbs. of yams
1/2 cup water
6 T honey
4 T unsalted butter at room temp
juice of 4 limes
1-1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
Directions: Oven 350 degrees. Wash the yams and place in baking dish with 1/2 cup water. Bake until the potatoes are soft and the skins puffy, about 1-1/2 hours, give or take, depending on the size of the yams. Poke them and check for softness. (You’re going to mash them so you don’t want them slightly firm as you would if you were going to cube them.)
After they’re done, set aside to cool a bit and leave the oven on.
When they are cool enough to handle, peel and place them in an oven proof dish that fits, and add the honey, butter, lime juice, salt and pepper. Mash with a potato masher until everything is mixed well. Adjust seasonings if necessary. (Want it more tart? Add another lime…)
Cover with an ovenproof lid or foil and return to the oven for 15 to 20 min until heated through.
Enjoy! I’ll see you again the week after Thanksgiving.
Written for In Care of Relationships by Terri Crosby
I go to Yoga Class twice a week, because it works. If I do yoga at home, I get distracted.
My distraction excuse is that it’s hardly ever quiet at my house. Eric works from home and talks on the phone. UPS comes to the door, the dog barks, I hear a text come in, or — hey, it rains. When it rains, I might have to close the doors to the deck because the water is splashing in, or pull a couple of already wet potted plants out from under the downpour. Or maybe getting up to handle the plants reminds me that the laundry is going or I think to myself, “I should put the quinoa on to cook or the chicken in the oven so we can eat dinner.”
Whatever! Anything will do, and it’s not one thing, it’s many little things.
So leaving the house for my Yoga Class really works. I concentrate. My phone is off. I get on my mat.
And most importantly, there’s my teacher Lynn Edgar at the Brightwater Yoga Studio, showing me what to do and encouraging me to do it.
And guess what? I do my very best to follow her.
She asks me to do things I would never do at home. She encourages me to hold a pose much longer than I would on my own. And it’s not only OK with me — I’m really happy that she asks, and I’m happy to do it. It feels right and it helps me.
So Lynn is my challenging partner in my health and well-being.
She’s good for me.
If you were to contact me to do a consulting session, I would be your challenging partner regarding your questions about life and relationships. And you’d probably be happy with yourself when you were done!
I’d ask you to hold a pose (investigate your point of view) a little longer, or in a different way than you might have on your own.
And you know how a good yoga teacher gives instructions, and then walks around the room and gently adjusts her students?
It makes all the difference!
I do that, too. I help you tweak your position (point of view) so that it feels better as you hold it.
Ahhhh! Now that’s better!
YOUR CHALLENGING PARTNER
And your partner — that wonderful, awful, challenging, irritating, loving person you live with, work with, or birthed — they do this, too.
In a recent session, one of my clients was hurt about something her former partner said to her after they broke up.
She asked him how he was doing and he replied that since he moved out, things were less stressful for him.
On the outside, she tried to keep her calm as she heard his words.
On the inside, however, she went through the emotional roof! She took his comment very personally.
So, just like in yoga class, when the instructor introduces a pose, and inside I’m saying, “OMG” or “Oh, I don’t think so,” my client’s partner handed her a post-relationship challenge.
And at first, she said, “NO WAY!”
The way she heard him, she felt criticized. So I helped her tweak her position, and then she went “Ahh. That’s better.”
Here’s the thing. When we sign up for a partnership — with a child, parent, lover — we sign up for everything that goes with it, do we not?
So, if anything needs tweaking, it is probably not our partner, but our own reaction to our partner.
And guaranteed, our partners will hand us challenges on a silver platter sooner or later. My client felt criticized — that was the position she was holding. It hurt, so we adjusted her position, not her partner’s.
The bottom line: If something hurts in yoga or relationships, my position needs tweaking, not the other person’s.
Today, I’m sharing a story about how I accidentally accomplished something on my bucket list. I ran through an exit gate while looking the other way. The hood of my car is scratched up, and one windshield wiper is a mess, but let’s have a good laugh about how we never expect what “getting what we want” includes!
It seems to be a growing fad these days to call someone a narcissist, or declare they are toxic.
Political name-calling is similar—we assign politicians and voters to categories, and brush them off as if they are unintelligent, inferior, or even worthless.
By labeling others, we miss their humanity. We gloss over their struggle, their best effort at dealing with life. We dismiss them.
We do to them what we believe they are doing to others.
Look past a label, and in the soft light of day, there stands a person like you or like me, coping as best they can. At the end of the day, no friend, parent, or lover making conscious choices intends to be mean, or to ignore, or to embellish. There is always more to the story.
If we label others, then for sure we label ourselves. We trap ourselves into believing we are less than. Or not enough. Or we don’t give ourselves the time and forgiveness to work through our “stuff.” Maybe, if we stopped accusing others of narcissism, we could forgive ourselves for those moments when we were narrow-minded, inconsiderate, or afraid.
When it comes to labels, nobody wins.
So, my dear people, I suggest we peer a little deeper into ourselves to investigate a need to separate ourselves from others by tacking them with a label filled with disdain or scorn.
It is my wish that you view this video and take it to heart.