Posts Tagged ‘aging’

Do I Become The Stories I Tell?


My mother is 90 years old. She walks, shops, quilts, cooks, cleans and floats up the stairs like a summer breeze. She can also squat or lean over and pull weeds (yes, big ones) as easily as someone much younger.

She has never truly considered the idea of decline for herself personally. She simply does everything she wants to do.

At the ripe age of almost 91, she does what she did when she was 50 or 60 or 70 or 80. The two things that have changed: she no longer drives regularly, although she has her driver’s license, and she takes an afternoon nap every day.

Mom at her 90th Birthday party

Mom doesn’t think about “not doing.” She thinks about doing whatever she wants to do without a second thought. She doesn’t think “can’t.” She thinks “can.”

She lives with my sister, and likes to be useful around the house, so she helps out every day. When I call her, she’ll tell me that she’s out walking the dog, or that she’s cleaning up the kitchen or busy beautifying a flower bed.

Once when Mom visited me (age 88), I found her perched on the edge of my tub, cleaning a greenhouse window. She was happy as a lark with her paper towels and Windex, making the glass shelves sparkle again. 

She reminds me that living simply and thinking simply has it’s advantages. She’s totally inspiring!


What do you speak or think about regularly? What do you predict or reinforce for yourself with your stories?

Do you lament about how you’re getting older? Or can’t get ahead? Or how someone is causing you trouble? Or life is hard or scary and here’s why?

Or do you give most of your time and attention to what’s going right or working well? What kind of conversations get the most airtime during your day?

Really, take a look.

The Universe is listening. Are you?

Are you listening to what you declare?  Expect?

Way back in the day, I knew a speaker, researcher and author named Ken Pelletier. At the time, he was studying and speaking mostly about longevity. He told me stories of people (often in remote areas of the earth) that he had spent time with and studied, and how unstressed these folks were about things that would drive the average American crazy.

He told me a story about going fishing with a particular tribe. They would happily hop into a fishing boat and start the motor without checking the engine or the gas tank. If they made it to a favorite fishing spot quite a long ways away, and ran out of gas or had engine failure, it simply didn’t matter. They would float aimlessly and wait for someone to come get them.

(Do I also vaguely remember that local homemade brew could have been involved…? Could be! ‘Twas a long time ago!)

In any case, they didn’t mind that something planned for a few leisurely hours took all day. Time and efficiency were not important. Time was not something they stressed over. Ever.

He studied a number of groups of people (who seemed to live longer and healthier) to flush out possible longevity factors. Was it food? Lifestyle? Attitude? The local shaman? A magic ingredient consumed by them, known only to them?

Or was it something no one had yet thought of?

Back in the U.S. he and his team designed an extensive questionnaire for Americans based on what they had learned and evaluated the results. It turned out that the questions they thought would be important predictors of health and longevity were not.

There was a throwaway question, however, that made all the difference. Of all the factors they had studied, this question was the only consistent predictor of health and longevity.

Basically, the researchers asked, “Do you expect to be alive five years from now?”

If the person answered yes, they usually were alive and well in five years. If they answered no, they weren’t.


What you expect matters.

What stories are you telling about yourself or your future?




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Intimacy Is Everywhere

Hello Everyone,

Today, intimacy.

Love to you all,

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Friday Love: Bam! Gate Breaking, Anyone?

Good Friday, Everyone!

Today, I’m sharing a story about how I accidentally accomplished something on my bucket list. I ran through an exit gate while looking the other way. The hood of my car is scratched up, and one windshield wiper is a mess, but let’s have a good laugh about how we never expect what “getting what we want” includes!

Let me know if you relate…

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Enough with the Name-Calling

It seems to be a growing fad these days to call someone a narcissist, or declare they are toxic.
Political name-calling is similar—we assign politicians and voters to categories, and brush them off as if they are unintelligent, inferior, or even worthless.
By labeling others, we miss their humanity. We gloss over their struggle, their best effort at dealing with life. We dismiss them.
We do to them what we believe they are doing to others.
Look past a label, and in the soft light of day, there stands a person like you or like me, coping as best they can. At the end of the day, no friend, parent, or lover making conscious choices intends to be mean, or to ignore, or to embellish. There is always more to the story.
If we label others, then for sure we label ourselves. We trap ourselves into believing we are less than. Or not enough. Or we don’t give ourselves the time and forgiveness to work through our “stuff.” Maybe, if we stopped accusing others of narcissism, we could forgive ourselves for those moments when we were narrow-minded, inconsiderate, or afraid.
When it comes to labels, nobody wins.
So, my dear people, I suggest we peer a little deeper into ourselves to investigate a need to separate ourselves from others by tacking them with a label filled with disdain or scorn.
It is my wish that you view this video and take it to heart.
Much love,

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Terri Crosby

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