Do you have romantic ideas about love and partnership, ideas that tug at your heart strings?
Most of us do.
Many romantic ideas are fun and lovely and light-hearted and, in my book, ideas that make life more delightful are probably pretty good ones to keep.
Ideas like… what makes a good Sunday morning together, for instance? Who brings who the morning beverage of choice? Do you go out? Stay home? Is it together time? Or is it separate, do-what-you-want-time?
What makes a good hug or kiss? What qualifies as foreplay, how and when do you give attention to each other? Even the contents of a proper apology, how and when you say I’m sorry, can be part of our romantic ideals about love and partnership.
But there is one common romantic idea that I’d like to challenge because it works against us.
Today, I’m sharing a story about how I accidentally accomplished something on my bucket list. I ran through an exit gate while looking the other way. The hood of my car is scratched up, and one windshield wiper is a mess, but let’s have a good laugh about how we never expect what “getting what we want” includes!
It seems to be a growing fad these days to call someone a narcissist, or declare they are toxic.
Political name-calling is similar—we assign politicians and voters to categories, and brush them off as if they are unintelligent, inferior, or even worthless.
By labeling others, we miss their humanity. We gloss over their struggle, their best effort at dealing with life. We dismiss them.
We do to them what we believe they are doing to others.
Look past a label, and in the soft light of day, there stands a person like you or like me, coping as best they can. At the end of the day, no friend, parent, or lover making conscious choices intends to be mean, or to ignore, or to embellish. There is always more to the story.
If we label others, then for sure we label ourselves. We trap ourselves into believing we are less than. Or not enough. Or we don’t give ourselves the time and forgiveness to work through our “stuff.” Maybe, if we stopped accusing others of narcissism, we could forgive ourselves for those moments when we were narrow-minded, inconsiderate, or afraid.
When it comes to labels, nobody wins.
So, my dear people, I suggest we peer a little deeper into ourselves to investigate a need to separate ourselves from others by tacking them with a label filled with disdain or scorn.
It is my wish that you view this video and take it to heart.