SUMMER SHORTS: Stop The Presses.

Summer Shorts is a weekly short-read in honor of the season, to convey ideas about relationships and life in the blink of an eye.

We can change a relationship. We can change the flow between us and someone we live with, work with, or love.

We can do that by creating new responses to old stimuli. Viktor Frankl, the Australian neurologist, psychiatrist and holocaust survivor said, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

When Eric was alive and well, like any couple, we had our ups and downs, especially at the beginning of our time together. I’m glad to say I learned from those ups and downs.

One of the practices I developed to rescue myself from saying something I would later regret was one I called “stop the presses.”

Continue Reading

SUMMER SHORTS: Get Out There. Try Stuff.

Summer Shorts is a weekly short-read in honor of the season, to convey ideas about relationships and life in the blink of an eye.

In my younger years, I thought trouble in a relationship meant something was wrong. I thought having problems with each other was not good.

If I had known that when the seas of my partnership looked rough, it was a sign I was being invited to grow, change, and evolve, that would have helped me. I could have at least donned rain gear in preparation for squalls and high waves.

If I had realized that difficulties are natural and necessary in growing, evolving relationships, perhaps I could have remembered to hang in there, go easier on myself, be more hopeful, keep the faith.

This is what most couples don’t know, not really, not in their bones: challenges help you. They are good for you.

Continue Reading

SUMMER SHORTS: You’ll Never Believe How I Met The Man Who Gave Me My Daughter.

Summer Shorts is a weekly short-read in honor of the season, to convey ideas about relationships and life in the blink of an eye.

Along my adventurous path, I had a wonderful fling with a man I didn’t know was already taken. We had a lovely time, including long talks about spirituality, philosophy and life, as well as a particularly memorable intimate experience on the open road in his Porsche.

Soon after returning home, however, I received a call from a really pissed off woman yelling into the phone about what a fraud I was.

Continue Reading

SUMMER SHORTS: Shall I Stay or Shall I Go?

Summer Shorts is a weekly short-read in honor of the season, to convey ideas about relationships and life in the blink of an eye.

One “aha” during the agonizing “shall I stay or shall I go” chapter of my relationship with Eric was to realize there was no true urgency to decide one way or another, even though I felt inner pressure to make a decision.

Continue Reading

SUMMER SHORTS SERIES: “The Moment of Lift. How Empowering Women Changes The World.”

Summer Shorts is a weekly short-read in honor of the season, to convey ideas about relationships and life in the blink of an eye.

If you read one book this summer, make it the new book by Melinda Gates called The Moment of Lift. For the last twenty years, Melinda Gates has been on a mission to find solutions for people with the most urgent needs, wherever they live. Throughout this journey, one thing has become increasingly clear to her: If you want to lift a society up, you need to stop keeping women down.

Continue Reading

Intimacy Is Everywhere

Hello Everyone,

Today, intimacy.

Love to you all,

Read more

Friday Love: Bam! Gate Breaking, Anyone?

Good Friday, Everyone!

Today, I’m sharing a story about how I accidentally accomplished something on my bucket list. I ran through an exit gate while looking the other way. The hood of my car is scratched up, and one windshield wiper is a mess, but let’s have a good laugh about how we never expect what “getting what we want” includes!

Let me know if you relate…

Read more

Enough with the Name-Calling

It seems to be a growing fad these days to call someone a narcissist, or declare they are toxic.
 
Political name-calling is similar—we assign politicians and voters to categories, and brush them off as if they are unintelligent, inferior, or even worthless.
 
By labeling others, we miss their humanity. We gloss over their struggle, their best effort at dealing with life. We dismiss them.
 
We do to them what we believe they are doing to others.
 
Look past a label, and in the soft light of day, there stands a person like you or like me, coping as best they can. At the end of the day, no friend, parent, or lover making conscious choices intends to be mean, or to ignore, or to embellish. There is always more to the story.
 
If we label others, then for sure we label ourselves. We trap ourselves into believing we are less than. Or not enough. Or we don’t give ourselves the time and forgiveness to work through our “stuff.” Maybe, if we stopped accusing others of narcissism, we could forgive ourselves for those moments when we were narrow-minded, inconsiderate, or afraid.
 
When it comes to labels, nobody wins.
 
So, my dear people, I suggest we peer a little deeper into ourselves to investigate a need to separate ourselves from others by tacking them with a label filled with disdain or scorn.
 
It is my wish that you view this video and take it to heart.
 
Much love,
Terri
 
 

Read more

Get in touch

Terri Crosby

Talk to me