A New View — Part 1 of 2

If something isn’t working, perhaps there is another way to see it. (No, that’s not a new idea.) But there is one aspect of this idea that makes all the difference.

Never underestimate the power of a baby step in the direction of where you want to be.

To tackle a big subject, start by taking a small step toward what you want.

You can change things!

  1. You can change WHAT you’re looking at.  Move your binoculars up and over a little — and voila! you’ll see a different scene.  Change the information you collect.

    Instead of listening to the “who-died-or-almost-died-and-why” news or “who’s-right-and-who’s-wrong” details of the presidential election, watch “Winged Planet” about the amazing birds in this world.  Instead of dwelling on the disasters or the victims or the troubles of the world, change the channel or get up from the couch. Go do something else.

    Pay more attention to things that are working.  Notice and spread the word about successful events.  Miracles.  Random acts of generosity.  People that are happy.  Creative inventions that change the world.

  2. You can change HOW you’re seeing what you see.  Change the lens through which you interpret what you see.

    If you don’t like what you see (lens of judgment), install a different lens — maybe the lens called “what if there is more to the story than I can see…”  Or the lens called “This issue is really none of my business, and I think I’ll let them work it out.”

    People may tell you that you are seeing the world through rose colored glasses.  Just smile, and say “thank you for noticing.”

  3. You can change WHEN you look. Notice the good stuff and make a big deal about it.  Catch your child being good. Ignore the spilled whatever, and the crabby, yelly, and uncooperative landscape between you and your little ones. Have a party moment when things are going the way you want them to go.  Do a little jig. Put your right foot in, put your right foot out…and shake it all about.

    Thank your partner when s/he is doing something great.  Stop the world to celebrate the moments that make you happy.

  4. You can change WHERE you look from. Your perspective, your general point of view.  Do you see the glass half empty or the glass half full?  Do you have faith in the abilities of others or do you end up doing all the work because only you can do it best?

    Notice your general point of view about yourself.  Is your point of view that “things usually work out well for me?” Or not?  Do you find your way to good solutions?  Do you usually have trusting relationships with others?

    If you are sick, have been sick for a long time — and this is a serious subject for you and yours — see what you can do to lighten things up.  For the next hour or so, don’t be so fascinated with being sick.  Or tired. Or fascinated about the fact that you hate your job.  So what. Be fascinated about something else for a while, just for the heck of it.

    A great sentence to begin to shift things?  “What if….”  What if I enjoyed the people at work?  What if I got well — THEN who would I be or how would I spend my time?  What if I loved going to work in the morning?  What if…

  5. You can change WHY you look.  If you find articles that rail against others, and post them on Facebook so others can join your “fight” against this person you’ve never met and don’t really know, then you might notice that you’re promoting others in a negative way.  Let’s say you might be making others “smaller, lesser, stupid, inept, silly or not as smart as you.”

    Why?  So you can feel smarter, superior, better than? If they are less, you’re more.  I don’t know.  Check it out.

    For a new game that’s usually a little more fun, why not find people you support, and talk about them.  When you look for ways to make yourself or others right, you see more of what’s working, you GET more of what’s working, because you celebrate what’s working.

    The bonus?  You feel better about life.  Your life gets better.  And what could possibly be better than that?!!!?

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

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Intimacy Is Everywhere

Hello Everyone,

Today, intimacy.

Love to you all,

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Friday Love: Bam! Gate Breaking, Anyone?

Good Friday, Everyone!

Today, I’m sharing a story about how I accidentally accomplished something on my bucket list. I ran through an exit gate while looking the other way. The hood of my car is scratched up, and one windshield wiper is a mess, but let’s have a good laugh about how we never expect what “getting what we want” includes!

Let me know if you relate…

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Enough with the Name-Calling

It seems to be a growing fad these days to call someone a narcissist, or declare they are toxic.
 
Political name-calling is similar—we assign politicians and voters to categories, and brush them off as if they are unintelligent, inferior, or even worthless.
 
By labeling others, we miss their humanity. We gloss over their struggle, their best effort at dealing with life. We dismiss them.
 
We do to them what we believe they are doing to others.
 
Look past a label, and in the soft light of day, there stands a person like you or like me, coping as best they can. At the end of the day, no friend, parent, or lover making conscious choices intends to be mean, or to ignore, or to embellish. There is always more to the story.
 
If we label others, then for sure we label ourselves. We trap ourselves into believing we are less than. Or not enough. Or we don’t give ourselves the time and forgiveness to work through our “stuff.” Maybe, if we stopped accusing others of narcissism, we could forgive ourselves for those moments when we were narrow-minded, inconsiderate, or afraid.
 
When it comes to labels, nobody wins.
 
So, my dear people, I suggest we peer a little deeper into ourselves to investigate a need to separate ourselves from others by tacking them with a label filled with disdain or scorn.
 
It is my wish that you view this video and take it to heart.
 
Much love,
Terri
 
 

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