#8 Another Note From The Caregiver

On most Mondays, I plan to publish a past communication or two about Eric Russ and his Health Journey that originally appeared in Caring Bridge.  For anyone with a “health opportunity” as my nurse friend calls it, I hope these posts are helpful.

For Eric Another Day, Another Snooze. For Terri, Well, Not So Much…

Jim Reed is with Eric this morning and will be with Eric today in a quiet way or whatever is needed.  Eric is still sleeping a lot.  I am at home catching up on some much needed office work.  I appreciate this opportunity to get prepared for getting my consulting business back together enough to bring in some money and make a living.  Imagine that. I’m better today, so I can tell you that my own personal journey on Sunday was deeply emotional —  pretty much non-stop wailing.  This is different than crying.  Crying is crying and you get some Kleenex, and you have a good cry and you feel better. Wailing, on the other hand, is unearthing.  And this unearthing comes with sound and feeling from the depths of one’s being, and comes up out of a person in no kind of pattern in particular, is triggered by nothing at all in the moment, and it can’t be stopped, reasoned with or subdued.  It’s pretty much volcanic. So yesterday, I just let it come.  The strangest sounds came out of me, and sometimes they would come in the middle of a very ordinary sentence which had nothing to do with the subject of grief.  In all fairness, though, once when the wailing happened, I was talking with Jim Reed about protecting outdoor faucets in freezing weather which is a bit ironic.  So the short story is that I didn’t even try to calm myself down (as a couple friends can tell you, because they heard it) and because clearly calming down wasn’t gonna happen just because I wanted it to happen.  My body and my being had other ideas. Life lately seems to be a cleansing and clearing of the highest order.  Can I get an AMEN on that? Many of us in WomanSong (women’s choir in Asheville, NC) are reeling from the death of our dear friend and fellow singer Jayne Caldwell who passed away suddenly over the Holidays following minor surgery.  I am sharing my “wailing experience”   because I personally know a number of people who are going through life-changing situations at this time, and having “permission” to wail could be a good thing for you or someone you know. love to you all, and thank you for thinking of us both, and for your loving words here on this site, on the phone, in emails and texts.  Every kind word and thought from you is appreciated deeply at this time. Terri

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

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Intimacy Is Everywhere

Hello Everyone,

Today, intimacy.

Love to you all,

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Friday Love: Bam! Gate Breaking, Anyone?

Good Friday, Everyone!

Today, I’m sharing a story about how I accidentally accomplished something on my bucket list. I ran through an exit gate while looking the other way. The hood of my car is scratched up, and one windshield wiper is a mess, but let’s have a good laugh about how we never expect what “getting what we want” includes!

Let me know if you relate…

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Enough with the Name-Calling

It seems to be a growing fad these days to call someone a narcissist, or declare they are toxic.
 
Political name-calling is similar—we assign politicians and voters to categories, and brush them off as if they are unintelligent, inferior, or even worthless.
 
By labeling others, we miss their humanity. We gloss over their struggle, their best effort at dealing with life. We dismiss them.
 
We do to them what we believe they are doing to others.
 
Look past a label, and in the soft light of day, there stands a person like you or like me, coping as best they can. At the end of the day, no friend, parent, or lover making conscious choices intends to be mean, or to ignore, or to embellish. There is always more to the story.
 
If we label others, then for sure we label ourselves. We trap ourselves into believing we are less than. Or not enough. Or we don’t give ourselves the time and forgiveness to work through our “stuff.” Maybe, if we stopped accusing others of narcissism, we could forgive ourselves for those moments when we were narrow-minded, inconsiderate, or afraid.
 
When it comes to labels, nobody wins.
 
So, my dear people, I suggest we peer a little deeper into ourselves to investigate a need to separate ourselves from others by tacking them with a label filled with disdain or scorn.
 
It is my wish that you view this video and take it to heart.
 
Much love,
Terri
 
 

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