{Video Blog} Why Do Most Marriages Fail?

In Part 3 of our video blog series, I sit down with my daughter Mackenzie to discuss the reason so many marriages seem to fail. Why do you think so many marriages fail? Let me know in the comments!

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

Comments (4)

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    Mary-Elizabeth

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    The buck does stop with me and I say, “It’s all his fault!” (ha ha). I’m loving your videos and it was nice to be introduced to your daughter today.

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      Terri Crosby

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      Mary-Elizabeth — so glad you could meet my daughter! Thanks for watching and for enjoying the videos.
      Terri

      Reply

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    Althea Gonzalez

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    Nice job on the video! Love you and MacKenzie playing off each other. And so true, that we are always responsible for our creations.

    My two cents, the term “fail” feels off for me. If everything is always in divine order then there is no “failure”. There is only an ending that may have come sooner than anticipated or desired. And there are things we can be or do (like owning our stuff) that can make them last longer.

    Reading… Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, also helped me to see that over the centuries there are all sorts of reasons and expectations people have for getting married. Those reasons definitely shape the longevity or viability of the marriage.

    Thanks for sharing!

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      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you so much for your comment and your suggestions. I totally understand about the word “fail.” I’d like to share a couple ideas about that…

      One,there are certainly many emotion-filled definitions for the word fail involving one’s worth (to prove deficient or lacking, to fall short of success or achievement). But other definitions suggest something simple like “to dwindle” or “lose strength or vigor.” Fail can mean that something ends.

      And two, when I work with clients, I start with the language of where they are, not where I am, which builds a bridge to where we will go together. I can be fully in “everything’s in divine order” while my client is not. People who come to me are typically (but not always) in a less than rosey frame of mind about their relationship situation. Even if they understand intellectually that everything is in divine order and there is no such thing as failure, their heart may not be feelin’ that, if you know what I mean. They feel like their relationship (or lack of one) is or was a failure, even though they know differently in their head. So it’s a process of getting the inner-sort-of-secret-feeling of failure out in the light and make it fully OK. We play with it. Welcome it. Understand it. Take it by the hand and take a few baby steps. And then everything begins to change. The heart and mind can come into alignment with the idea that you know is true.

      A rather drastic example of this is when my husband Eric almost died last year. Intellectually, I know death is not the end of a relationship, but in the middle of that experience with him, I saw how far I was from actually embodying the truth of that. I’ve come a long ways about it. I understand it more deeply. So at the beginning of that experience, I knew the truth in my head, but life gave me a chance for my heart to understand it more.

      Thank you so much for chiming in!
      Terri

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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