This One Step Gets You On The Road To Calm

My friend Giuseppe would probably be Santa Claus if he wasn’t a massage therapist. When I showed up at his downtown office for an appointment one day, he looked at me with his squinty-I-can-see-your-energy eyes, and said with a twinkle, “How are you?”

I replied, “I’m fine.”

And then the l-a-u-g-h-i-n-g began!

It’s really fun to tell a lie, knowing it’s a lie, knowing that your dear friend can see it’s deliberate. It’s especially fun if a lie is invited, which, to my way of thinking it was, twinkly eyes and all. When Giuseppe noticed my state that morning, he knew full well that whatever was about to come out of my mouth would be up for light-hearted scrutiny. 

On the massage table, I mentioned to Giuseppe a few reasons that I might possibly be upside down and sideways about life. He said this brilliant, simple thing.

“Whatever it is, you ought to just breathe about it.”  

And then he rolled up his sleeves and kneaded the stress out of my body. “Breathe about it” has become a mantra of sorts, a way to soften.

It Helps.

Deep, slow, conscious breathing drops us out of monkey mind, out of worry and distress, because it’s impossible to think troubled thoughts and breathe consciously at the same time.

It’s especially handy that the phrase “breathe about it” is easy to remember, even (and especially) under duress.

Breathing consciously reminds us to do other slow things as well, such as taking time to reflect, write, daydream, and stop and smell the roses. 

When I take the time to breathe, my senses open and my perspective expands. My appreciation for being alive rises up through me again and I remember that earth’s beauty matters to me.

I didn’t grow the redbuds, magnolias, or dogwoods that are blooming now, yet there they are, and what a miracle. I didn’t rotate the earth or cause the sun to rise over the horizon this morning, and still, it happens.

When I breathe about it, I remember that many things are done for me.

In September and October when I still lived in the home Eric and I had together, and the weather was especially heavenly, I often did yoga on the cobblestone sidewalk leading to the surrounding forest of sixty foot trees.

I don’t know what it is about falling leaves (or spring blossoms or snow) that’s so personal, so gentle, so lovely, but it feels dear to me, and intimate.

When leaves fell from treetops all the way to my shoulders during Triangle pose or down dog, the beauty of it touched me. Some leaves floated and took their sweet time. Others plummeted.

Being caressed by nature during sidewalk yoga relaxed me and gave me the you-ought-to-just-breathe-about-it feeling.

Two Things I Know.

This I know after living this long: everything turns out OK eventually. Life unfolds, goes where it goes, does what it does. It may or may not be what I expected or thought I wanted.

This I also know after living long: everything is for my benefit, somehow some way.

The marriage that went sideways? (There will be a silver lining to that cloud as time goes on. Look for it.)

An unexpected turn in the housing market affected your business? (Wait for it. The benefit will show up, but probably not instantly.)

Your partner walked away? (Breathe about it. You have a new life, a new start. What will you do with it?)

Breathe About It Means…

Breathe about it means take a pause.

Breathe about it means give it room.

Breathe about it means leave it alone, for now. Let it be.

Breathe and let things happen. Breathe more, think less. Breathe more, fix less. Breathe more, and don’t worry about so much about changing anything.

Get quiet enough and breathe deeply enough to hear your heart speak.

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

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    Devaya

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    Amen!! ♥️

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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