The Story of Eric’s Memorial Plus A Photo Video Tribute

The Memorial Service on April 29 for my partner of 17 years, Eric Russ, was a beautiful tribute to him. I am so happy with that day from beginning to end. Thank you for being there in thought, in spirit or in person.

I’ll include the link (below) to the 5-1/2 minute video we made about his life. It’s a labor of love to put something like that together, and I thank Chris Walsh and Donna Brickey for their individual and collective genius and complete dedication.

At the memorial, we moved through a rainbow of emotions, thanks to a wonderful cast of story-telling characters. Here are some highlights of April 29.

Music opened the journey. About 34 of the 75 members of Womansong (my Asheville choir) sang “Ocean of Love” from the back of the room which washed through our hearts and minds like a cleansing wave. 

Later in the program, “I Will Carry You,” written and performed by Lyte Henrickson, was also accompanied by Womansong.  Kat Williams sang “Blue Skies” (yes, the Irving Berlin song) and “Oh Happy Day.” Guitarist Dave de la Rosa gave us “Tears in Heaven.”

The speakers unwrapped the story of Eric’s life and friendships in a way that people who did not know him well left the room feeling as if they did. Fred Hodgins, who has been Eric’s best friend and business partner since 2009, made us cry. Eric’s urologist, Dr. Scott Donaldson, made us laugh uproariously. My daughter, MacKenzie Joy, made us do it all (and do it all at once) ’cause she’s the queen of simultaneous. Diane Tower-Jones was “my voice” for the service. She read a story I wrote about Eric’s journey, which helped everyone understand the last few years of his life. She was so good, it was like having Meryl Streep play me — live and in person. My nephew, Jon, continued his tradition of writing a poem for every family event, and this was no exception. He sent a poem about Eric on video.

Rev. Darlene held the entire event in prayer long before the actual day, and I could feel her presence throughout the service. Her words were just right and her presence calmed, soothed, and held us steady even when emotions were high.

Everything that wanted or needed to happen, did.

Here is the link to the photo video about Eric.  

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B68xLcrRjnFJQXVJakpsTGRBeTA/view

 

 

 

 

 

p.s. Sweetheart, I hope we did you proud. I know you were there… I miss you. I wish we could sit on the couch again and talk. I have questions…

 

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

Comments (18)

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    Jeanne Myers

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    Ok, Devaya told me it was wonderful and this video is an example of part of that much larger blessing that was celebrated. My own husband passed 18 years ago and some days it seems like yesterday. And the memories are always there. Much love to you, Terri, you are a beautiful spirit.

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, Jeanne. Maybe you can tell me what the first days and months were like for you after your husband passed.
      love,
      Terri

      Reply

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    Leslie Rosenstock

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    Dear Terri,

    I’m deeply moved by the beautiful video chronicling Eric’s rich life.
    He feels to me like a man who deeply enjoyed his life, a kind man, a loving soul.
    I would have really enjoyed knowing him too.
    He was blessed to share life with the loving soul that you clearly are, Terri.
    Blessings to you,

    Leslie

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you for this beautiful message, Leslie. Yes, you would have enjoyed knowing him and he was deeply kind.
      love,
      Terri

      Reply

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    Debby

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    It was a profound joy to be there and share the celebration. Yes, I came away feeling that I know Eric. It was lovely. It was just right.

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Debby, thank you for this. We’ll talk soon. It feels time for a catch up phone call this week.
      love,
      Terri

      Reply

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    Ariel Marsh

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    Dearest Terri,

    I am now 71 years young and have been to enumerable memorials and celebrations for souls who have embarked on the next phase of life. However, Eric’s celebration is the most beautiful, poignant and Divinely inspiring one I had the privilege to experience. This truly expansive, transcendent happening is an enduring tribute to a brilliant, humble and creative soul whose life and love touched all he met. The brilliant life you and Eric shared is alive in all of us. I am confident that you will continue to inspire us all in the coming days with your intuitive writing, music, song and insights. I thank all who attended, spoke and shared their talents so elegantly..

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Ariel, thank you so much for your words and thoughts. I appreciate you. I’ll do my best to use my coming days to absorb the depth of what I’m experiencing and begin to express it. I’ve heard it takes a while, and I can tell you so far that even though I have experienced death of a parent, both my brothers, and some close friends, the impact of the death of a spouse is different. Love, Terri

      Reply

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    Corey Fowler

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    VERY SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL, …I KNOW ERIC WAS DEEPLY TOUCHED AS THE DAY IN HIS HONOR UNFOLDED SO GRACEFULLY… NICE WORK. T… LOVE TO YOU, MACKENZIE AND ERIC’S FAMILY AND FRIENDS… C0REY

    Reply

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    Amy McCollum

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    Beautiful. Nothing less than perfect.

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      Terri Crosby

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      If I could type a row of hearts in reply, I would. Love, Terri

      Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Oh, I love what you said. Yes, that’s what Love looks like! Thank you so much. All the best to your beautiful family. love, Terri

      Reply

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    MayaJoëlle

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    It was an honor to be present in this loving embrace. This beautiful memorial helped me to know better who Eric was and why you fell in Love with him dearest Terry. I can imagine 2 sparkling, loving beings sharing the ups and downs of life for almost 2 decades… You are deliciously marked for life because of it. While honoring the pain and grief of not being able to see Eric in this dimension, keep expressing and sharing this spark, this inner and outer beauty that means so much to all of us. Shower yourself with nurturing, loving moments in this time of loss. 🙂

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, MayaJoelle for everything you said. I will take your advice to heart. One of the things I have wanted to do in my life is go on one of your trips to France with you so that I can feel France and see it as you do. love,Terri

      Reply

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    Joy

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    Dear Terri,

    Wow.

    What a beautiful, loving photo memorial to your beloved husband Eric!

    I am so grateful for the times I was able to share a bit of his journey.

    Unfortunately, my commitment to an event out of town kept me from physically attending the 4.29 memorial at Unity of the Blue Ridge.

    My heart and love, prayers and comfort are yours.

    I can listen if you desire to talk to a warm-hearted soul
    who loves herself, you and life, and who allows more than ever
    life to be what it is.

    Blessings and love,
    Joy

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, Joy. I appreciate your warm feedback!
      Terri

      Reply

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
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I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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