The February Day Dreaded by Good Men Everywhere

Perhaps we have Valentine’s Day all backwards.  And because we have it backwards, it makes us go sideways.  And then we fall down.  And we can’t get up. What’s so backwards about this lovey-dovey day? Most people say… it’s so hard to get it right.  Instead of February 14 being a perfect day just as it is, it’s got hype.  It has built-in expectations.  It’s got over-the-top fantasy and pressure-filled, anxiety ridden “GIVE me this, DO that, TAKE me here, SAY this…” to show me that you love me.  And if you’re “all alone,” there’s often something more wrong with being without a partner, a main squeeze, or even a person of interest. (Really yucky.) Whew. Calling all humans!  Take it easy for heaven’s sake!  Valentine’s Day is a made up day.  It’s COMMERCIAL, don’t cha know?  In my family, one day a long time ago, we sat down and talked about holidays.  We made a conscious decision not to take holidays — ANY holiday– very seriously.  We made a family decision not to follow mainstream mass consciousness about this subject and you know what? We like it. We give presents when we want to, because we’re feeling generous in that moment and it feels natural.  It feels free and right and fun.  And sometimes gift-giving, card writing and expressing love coincides with a holiday, and sometimes it doesn’t.  We just roll with it.  This is what works for us.  Just sayin’…. If Valentine’s Day is an excuse to love each other more, then how fabulous is that!  Good for you.  Celebrate your heart out!  Do little things. Big things.  Sweet things. Especially, slooooow down.  Take more time.  Stop the presses, even just a little bit. Look into the eyes of your loved ones.  Appreciate them.  Take extra time to brush your daughter’s hair.  Make something extra delicious for dinner.  Pet your furry friend longer than usual.  Give your son a high five.  Hug your partner for a while.  Hold hands.  Pay attention to when love happens!  Be extra aware of love moments, sweet words, caring gestures.  Let love into your heart. Now… doesn’t that feel better? Try this.  Stand still in love.  Do nothing about it.  Just feel it.  Stop what you’re doing and close your eyes and feel love.  I just did a few moments ago, right here in my home with no one around, not even my dog.  Being in love, feeling love, experiencing love feels heavenly.  I doubt if I’m going too far out on a limb here when I say that Valentine’s Day (or any day) could (always) handle a little more heavenly. Because I study men and women and relationships, I have talked to many, many, MANY men in my life.  I love men.  I listen to men.  I trust men.  Did you know that Valentine’s Day for men is (hands down) the most dreaded day of the year?  This is called a clue. If Valentine’s Day is stressful  — well, that is not so much fun on a day that is supposed to be all about love.  Why not make a conscious decision to rethink this day? You can do this. It’s simple. Start over completely. Make Valentine’s Day about YOU loving.  How do you love?  How do you enjoy giving love?  If your girlfriend or wife doesn’t understand your version of love, teach her.  Show her the ropes.  Because she loves you, she’ll get it.  And this, my friends, makes the world a better place. Don’t make the (dreaded) day about the right way to love, when to love, how much to love, or did that person receive my love?  Don’t worry about how to show the twinkle in your eye.  Just go ahead and twinkle.  Don’t worry about whether it’s received “correctly.” Play more!  Be yourself.  Show love YOUR way, just for fun, and because you can.  Make Valentine’s Day about YOU loving however you love. So BE the love, people, BE THE LOVE.  This makes every day a love day. Ahhh, now isn’t that better?  Love is so simple.  And freedom is a very good thing. ******************************************************************************** Terri Crosby is a relationship mentor.  Since the 80’s she has helped women and men create life-affirming, ever-expanding, happier relationships with one another.  She is committed to joy, evolution and freedom.  She lives on a mountain in Hendersonville and works with clients all over the Asheville area.

direct) 714-240-4889.  www.InCareOfRelationships.com

Tags: , , , ,

Trackback from your site.

Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

Leave a comment

Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Read more

Get in touch

Terri Crosby

Talk to me