The Biggest — Huge Deal — in Brilliant Relationships
Written by Terri Crosby for In Care of Relationships
SO many relationship-ish concepts, so little time. But here’s one that matters. And it matters BIG. It has to do with how you perceive your partner, child, family member. No surprise there, you say, but what else? Here’s the question of the day. As my friend, my mother, my partner, my whoever — Can you see me in this moment as I am now, or are you thinking I’m the same as last time we talked or were together?How you see me guides our relationship.
How you perceive me shapes our relationship.
How you perceive me governs what you see, therefore what you believe, therefore what you expect, therefore what you create, therefore what you have.
How you see me is what you get from me.
- Are you curious? And open? Are you in this new moment with me? Or do you think you already know me?
- Do you know me, see me, and hear me right now? Or are you holding me in the place I was 5 days ago, or 3 years ago, or yesterday or a minute ago?
- Do you see me as my yesterday self, my last year self, or can you leave all that behind, so that I can as well?
- Why bring then into now, unless you liked then?
- Are you assuming I’m the same as I was or have been or are you assuming I’m an evolving being?
- If you hold me to what I used to be, or see me as I used to be, can you understand how it might be more difficult to be seen — around you — for who I am now, who I’ve become?
- Am I — the new and ever-evolving me — visible to you? As in this quote from a poem by e e cummings: “… now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened.”
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For more information about In Care of Relationships, click here.
About Terri Crosby — I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains with Eric, my partner of 14 years, two cats and a dog, and as many flowers and vegetables as I can plant. I love really good food, good friends, good relationships!
Tags: children, e.e. cummings, family, improving your relationship, intimate relationships, now the ears of my ears awake, now the eyes of my eyes are opened, parenting, relationship, relationship advice, relationships
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Kimberly
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Love this Terri! So good to remember. Excellent food for thought.
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Terri Crosby
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Thank you, Kimberly! Kind of makes you go Hmmmmmm, huh?
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shiner
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It is so very important that we “allow” people to change, to evolve. It happens regardless if we are embracing the changes or not.
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3rdofthe3rd
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Very true words, I believe we all forget that not only do we evolve but others do too.
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