My friend has a gosh darn actual pulpit in her living room.How did it get there? I mean, it’s a pretty unusual piece of furniture for a living room. She said her husband collects religious artifacts. First, there was the church pew he gave away. That pew could be a really good meditation spot under cover in a garden, don’t you think? And there is a rotating bookcase. Hmmm… what spiritual message do I need this morning? And a large, ornate bookcase from the 1700’s with carved figures and leaded glass. Plus a beautiful staircase — ready to uplift, feel better, experience an upward spiral, anyone?
And Then… Drumroll Please… There Is The PulpitIt’s beautiful, no doubt about it. So I started thinking about the pulpit. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the pulpit became a place to really express yourself, especially if expressing yourself about a certain topic was difficult? Or if you didn’t quite feel on solid ground, you could speak from the pulpit to find your true feelings. And it would be not so much a place to question, but rather a place to speak as if you know. A place to know what you know, or own what you know to be true about you. The pulpit would be a place to stand in who you are — because who you are is who you are, and who you are is good. It’s no secret that you’re a happier person when you’re being yourself, right? The pulpit is there to help you remember all of your aspects. The pulpit could be a place where any member of the family was encouraged to express. Perhaps there is a wish or a way of being that seems a little challenging to express accurately under pressure or in the face of (even possible) disagreement from others. It would be a place to express what you really, really want without fear of, well, anything at all. Speaking from the pulpit would be designed to be safe. There would be an established, prevailing and unwavering understanding that what is said from the pulpit is both valid and protected — from your mouth to God’s ear, your heart to the world, or from your Self to another Self whom you love. And, of course, it would need to be understood that anything you say from the pulpit is subject to change, because after all, speaking from the pulpit can be a process of continual discovery.
The Pulpit Is Not For…However, there would be one solid rule about speaking from the pulpit. It would never be a place for venting, complaining or criticizing. Never a place to yell about what’s wrong with the world, the family, or yourself. Not ever. No railing against yourself, your circumstances or another person. Not ever, ever — even the teensiest bit. That’s just not what this pulpit is for…
This Could Work!Heck, you don’t even need an actual pulpit for this to work. In the middle of a talk with your spouse, you could simply say, “I’m goin’ to the pulpit here….” And then your partner would know that’s code for “it’s time to sit back and listen to a little sacred exploration and expression.” It could be the most stunning way to get to know the person you “already know.”
One Last ThingThe only really appropriate response to a person’s expressions from the pulpit is “Thank you.” No questions, no back and forth, no rebuttals. The person at the pulpit can leave the pulpit, and later ask for questions and feedback, sure enough. But the speaker has to ask for it. No one else can say, “Hey, I have some things to say about what you said…” Nope. Not even if it’s a kind offering. Feedback, comments, questions — that’s up to the pulpit person. Time at the pulpit is a sacred bubble of conversation and expression. When you stand at the pulpit, you open into a beautiful flower or become the life-giving morning sun rising over the horizon…. Ahhh, now THAT’S better! Every family needs a pulpit, don’t you think?
***************************************www.InCareOfRelationships.com Terri Crosby is a relationship mentor. She has 34 years experience in leading seminars, speaking and consulting. She is committed to providing perspectives that put the power to change your relationships in your capable hands. She is dedicated to showing you ways to create fulfilling, joyous, evolving relationships with intimate partners, with family, or at work. Continue Reading