Posts Tagged ‘tender’

Things With Me Are Tender. And You?

People are kind. They ask me how I’m doing. It’s been ten months since Eric passed and I’m more able to answer that question these days without dissolving into a puddle. I don’t mean that it’s an “accomplishment” to be crying less. It’s more convenient, though, and it’s easier to talk to people I love. I buy less Kleenex.

You know, time really does heal. But when I mentioned this old saying to a wise friend recently, she said, “Yes, honey, but it depends on how you spend your time. You spend it well.”

Oh. True. Yes. There’s that.

What the last ten months have done for me is tenderize me. I didn’t think it was possible for the center of me to be more tender, but it is. It just is.

Kind gestures and natural ways of being especially move me.

The three young women I met this week in the Mills River Family Dental office, honestly, they blew me away. They were awake in their heart, alive in their eyes and their intelligence. They were attentive and aware of anything I might want to know about being a new patient there. This “hello, nice to meet you, what can I do for you” sort of thing is so simple in a way, and yet it makes quite a positive difference to someone like me, walking into their office for the first time. 

Then there was the dentist himself, Dr. Stohl, a young guy, a straight shooter. I can say (and mean it) that I look forward to working with him on the lovely project in my mouth.

At Unity of the Blue Ridge last Sunday a dear woman came up to me and gave me a hug. She said, “I wanted to tell you how much I love your writing and the subjects you talk about. Your words have helped me so much. I don’t comment on everything, or let you know that I’ve read it. I just want you to know how your words move me.” Her eyes welled up and she gave me another hug.

Well isn’t that a nice thing to hear? Isn’t that a nice thing to know? Yes. So there’s that kind of tender, too, when someone reaches out and thanks you for who you are and what you do.

Monday evening at Womansong choir rehearsal, director Althea (one of my favorite people on this Earth) did the nicest and most simple, simple thing. I’m the Section Leader for the Middles, and I was dragging my feet about rescheduling the Sectional, which had been cancelled due to weather. (A sectional is a focused practice session scheduled outside of regular choir practice.) Althea and I had a conversation without words about fifteen feet from each other.

She caught my gaze very clearly as if to say, “How ’bout it, Terri, did you reschedule?” I signaled to her that I hadn’t. Did she become upset or cross? Nope. Did she take the opportunity to give a lecture to me or the choir about getting sectionals scheduled in a timely manner? Nope.

She smiled back. Yes, she smiled. As if my “no, I haven’t done it” was entertaining or at least no big deal, nothing to worry about.

And when Althea got home Monday night, she sent me a cheery email with simple details about her availability and a location that made re-scheduling a breeze. So I rescheduled the practice session. Done. That was easy. Because of kindness.

These examples of simple kindness happened inside two days.

Consider me tenderized.

Daily.

And you?

Continue Reading

Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Read more

Get in touch

Terri Crosby

Talk to me