Posts Tagged ‘Mark Manson’

Don’t Try So Hard To Have A Great Relationship

Mac in the tree

MacKenzie Crosby Being Herself

One morning, I had a few minutes to wait in the doctor’s office before my blood test. For something to do, I looked at my phone and noticed that my daughter MacKenzie had tagged me on Facebook. She sent me an article by Mark Manson (author, thinker, life enthusiast). What MacKenzie sends is always interesting, so I clicked on it.

Here’s the link for the blog, but be forewarned that it’s impressively adorned with profanity. Don’t go anywhere near this writer if you’re offended by such.

(The author published a bestseller book this month with a 4-letter word, yes ma’am, in the title itself, so apparently he sprinkles swear words like salt and pepper.)

Because he’s rough around the edges, but in your face funny, I recommend him in small doses, especially if you’re in the mood for a kick in the pants.

Apparently, I was in the mood.

This blog of his made me laugh in the Doc’s office, you know where it’s quiet and people say nothing as they thumb through Better Homes and Gardens or stare aimlessly off into space. 

The waiting room was full of old people. They were so old that not one of them was looking at a smart phone. They were not emailing or texting or checking their messages. They were sitting, waiting patiently for their turn. Imagine that.

So there I was, where it’s somber and medical and serious, and I’m the odd one out, helplessly entertained by what’s on my smart phone. It reminded me of being in Quaker Meeting with my brothers and sisters long ago, when my brother would do something funny and the rest of us learned to practice deep breathing so we didn’t get in trouble.

I looked up every once in a while to see if anyone was disturbed or upset with me breaking the silence. But nope. They were pretending it wasn’t happening, you know, like Quakers waiting on word from the Lord. I have no clue how they managed this, but there you go. Such admirable focus! 

The author’s style was hilarious, and so was the contrast between what I was reading and where I was sitting. His words were so true that it sent me right over the edge in the best way possible. He’s a writer that can call you stupid right to your face and you think it’s the best joke ever.

IT’S RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE

Mark’s article makes the case that your passion is always boldly, blatantly right in front of you, if you remember how you were naturally as a kid.   He says, “A child does not walk onto a playground and say to herself, ‘How do I find fun?’ She just goes and has fun.”

He makes the case that that’s exactly how you find your passion. You go and do what’s fun to you, and there it is! 

According to Mark, “If you’re passionate about something, it will already feel like such an ingrained part of your life that you will have to be reminded by people that it’s not normal, that other people aren’t like that.”

When you dive into something and forget time? That’s it, that’s your passion. Maybe you’re good at wandering and exploring. It’s something you could build a life on, don’t you think?

Maybe you enjoy tinkering with recipes. Look how these women turned their tinkering into an epic lifestyle with thriving families and quite the loyal following:  Manger with Mimi Thorissen. Medoc, France.     Smitten Kitchen with Deb Perelman. New York City, NY.

RECIPE FOR EASY RELATIONSHIP PIE

So here’s what I think. I think you find a great relationship the same way that Mark says you find your passion. You do what you do, be who you are, and BAM! Your playmate shows up. (What’s NOT like you doesn’t find you and play with you, only what’s like you finds you — naturally!) You end up on the same playground with your playmate — playing! And you say hello! And then arrange for another play date!

Isn’t that simple pie?

If you’re in a relationship, you improve it the same way. You do what you do and be who you are. You’ll have bonus fun with your playmate where your fun intersects.  You know — have fun, express yo-self, and life has a way of working out.

Now go be yourself and have some fun.

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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