If you know me at all, you know I’m happy to share helpful information, or a valuable resource about anything, especially about the subject of relationships. I love passing information to you that is useful in a daily way or a lifetime kind of way, no matter where it comes from
I love sharing what works.
Also, if you know me, you’re aware that I’m a very big fan of Abraham-Hicks material. I’ve listened to hours and hours of their work over the last 10 years or so. Their material has been beyond valuable to me personally. And every once in a while, even after all this time, I hear something that totally blows me away. which happened (yet again!) this morning. I was blown away.
There I was doing yoga on the mat. Thinking it would be fun to listen to a YouTube recording while I stretched, I reached over to my phone and found one. I pushed PLAY as I did my first down dog.
But you know what? The Abraham conversation I heard was so perfectly unfolding, so masterful, so helpful to anyone in a partnership, that I did a few minutes of yoga and then without thinking, found myself spontaneously, naturally, completely still as I listened to this amazing exchange. Here’s how it starts.
HE: I want to know how to stay positive and have a happy marriage when the other partner is really negative.
(gentle laughter from the crowd, in recognition of his situation)
HE: (continues) I meditate, I’ll be in a happy mood, and man! Bam! She hits me with this stuff, and she always wants to talk about the negative. And I’ll tell her, hey I don’t want to talk about the negative, I want to talk about the positive. It’s been a real struggle, especially since we have a 2 month old baby. And it’s real hard on me. I’m practicing, I’m trying, and it works in a lot of areas in my life, but this one is the hardest.
So Abraham begins very gently with a talk about compassion, saying that compassion isn’t quite like sympathy or empathy. Instead, according to Abraham, compassion is being in a receptive mode and focused on someone, so that your viewpoint is including the viewpoint of your Source.
What an amazing definition of compassion.
So what this young man is given, in 17 minutes and 13 seconds is a very poignant lesson about what to do about talking to his negative wife. I’m going to keep today’s blog really short so you can spend a little time listening to this totally brilliant conversation.And if you’d like to join me for an outstanding online relationship event, go toLOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH.If you like the Abraham recording, you’ll like this event. I guarantee it.
What a good idea, don’t you think, to LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH, whether we’re talking about loving you or someone else? And since there’s a strong connection between how much you love and accept yourself and how happy you are in a relationship, you could say that everything really starts with loving you.
I’m excited about my upcoming course for women starting in April, called LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH. This course is the cream layer of what I’ve learned in 40 years about relationships. Over 7 weeks, course participants will learn 6 pivotal changes that offer beneficial and immediately applicable shifts in perspective right where you want them, along with valuable and life-enhancing tools for improving your relationship.
If I had known even two of the six pivotal changes and put them into practice, it would have changed the direction of my life entirely.
If someone had told me when I was about 20 years old that I was working perfectly, that there was nothing wrong with me, and nothing to fix, I am sure I would have looked at them quite quizzically. Maybe I would have asked for some evidence.
And if I had asked for evidence, maybe they would have told me the proof that everything about me is working perfectly is that there is something I’m really good at. (And everyone else in the world is good at this, as well.)
They would have sat me down and told me that I was really good at producing the results I produce. I’m a master of my own outcomes. The only question is, “Do I like those outcomes? Am I producing the results I want?”
They might have told me that there’s a big secret the adults who raised us probably didn’t teach us, or operate from. If they didn’t teach us, it simply means they forgot the secret themselves. They didn’t teach it to us because they couldn’t.
Most parents didn’t tell us that we have within us a built-in, surefire way of determining what’s on track for us and what’s not. What’s right for us, what’s not so much. What brings out our talents and inner knowing, and what doesn’t. What makes us shiny happy, bursting with enthusiasm, and ready to take on the world, vs. what makes us discouraged, reticent, or even mad-as-a-hornet-angry.
If they didn’t teach us, it’s because they forgot it themselves, even though I believe with all my heart that we come into this life knowing fully how to make decisions beneficial to who we are and where we’re headed.
So the course will begin with remembering that everything about you is working perfectly. We’ll talk about the evidence for that, and make sure this idea is our “solid ground.” Then we’ll remember and revive our inner guidance system, which changes everything. That’s for starters.
After that, we’ll work with other questions over the seven weeks that we’re together. Here are a few.
What is one of the most deeply powerful influences on male-female relationships that almost everyone ignores?How could this set of information work to your advantage if you knew what it was and how it works?
What are three personal philosophies that help create a consistently positive flow in your relationship and in your life?
Why does change feel so strange at first?
What are five easy-to-remember steps to change?
What’s the connection between thought, feeling and outcome?How does knowing this help you change?
What moves your relationship from average to brilliant?What changes it from “going through the motions,” to more fun and satisfying?
I hope you’ll join me in answering those questions, and in doing so, creating positive momentum in your relationship. There are only eight seats available in this first course, but there will be more. If you’d like to find out more about this unique course, or if you’d like to participate, click over now.
You’re broken down and tired Of living life on a merry go round And you can’t find the fighter But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out And move mountains We gonna walk it out And move mountains
And I’ll rise up I’ll rise like the day I’ll rise up I’ll rise unafraid I’ll rise up And I’ll do it a thousand times again And I’ll rise up High like the waves I’ll rise up In spite of the ache I’ll rise up And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you For you For you For you
When the silence isn’t quiet And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe And I know you feel like dying But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet And move mountains Bring it to its feet And move mountains
And I’ll rise up I’ll rise like the day I’ll rise up I’ll rise unafraid I’ll rise up And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you For you For you For you
All we need, all we need is hope And for that we have each other And for that we have each other And we will rise We will rise We’ll rise, oh, oh We’ll rise
I’ll rise up Rise like the day I’ll rise up In spite of the ache I will rise a thousand times again And we’ll rise up High like the waves We’ll rise up In spite of the ache We’ll rise up And we’ll do it a thousand times again
During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.
We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.
But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.
As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.