Posts Tagged ‘Baguette The Dog Teaches About Relationships’

Baguette The Dog Teaches About Relationships

Baguette

My daughter’s dog Baguette believes that every dog who shows up in her life is there to play with her.

Jackson, my dog, is a small guy, only 10 pounds, and from the time we took him into our household from his original owner, he’s been aggressive toward other dogs. I don’t know his history, but I’m sure he has his reasons.

I’m not a dog expert and I had no clue what his aggressiveness was all about until one day not so long ago. A friend of mine invited me to bring Jackson over to meet her six small dogs to see if he could learn to get along with others and play nice, even this late in the game.

My friend is experienced with dogs and wasn’t as concerned about his aggressiveness as I was, and said it was important that no dog be on a leash for this event. She said the dogs would work things out just fine if they could move about naturally. But just in case things went awry, her husband was ready with the water hose to break up a fight.

The most amazing thing happened. After Jackson had time to acclimate to her yard, she let all six of her dogs out of the house and they ran toward him in a pack, friendly tails wagging.

Jackson was overwhelmed. He was completely silent, and his body language indicated that he was afraid. He sat down. He cowered. My heart went out to him. Until that moment, honestly, I had no idea he was so terrified. That moment taught me about the true nature of aggressiveness. It’s really fear masquerading as (fake) authority or power.

 

Back to Baguette!

little baguette

Puppy Baguette

When she came over to our house to visit, my daughter MacKenzie and I decided it would be best to let Baguette and Jackson figure things out. We introduced them to each other outside and gave them free reign — lots of space to run. I took a deep breath and figured if anyone could make things turn out well, Baguette could.

Baguette was a little surprised about Jackson’s style, but she totally took things in stride. She figured he played however he played, so she’d play that way. She’s also faster and much bigger than Jackson, so she was able to get out of his way easily, or take a flying leap right over him, which she did once.

She did whatever it took to play with his aggressive lunges, and did so happily and at full tilt. It occurred to Mac and me that Baguette thought his moves were hilariously entertaining — and definitely a new game! The more he ran after her, barking and all upset, the more she invited it.

Then Baguette did an extra brilliant thing. She began to imitate Jackson. When he barked, she barked right back as if to say, “Oh, so that’s how you like it!” If Jackson ran after her, she’d play by running away, making it a good game, and then she’d chase him right back, which caught him off guard at first, and threw him into a little more fear. Usually, it would make him run after her again, which is exactly what she wanted.

Essentially, Baguette welcomed whatever Jackson did and turned it into a game.

Jackson got a little worn out expressing his fear. It required a great deal of energy (note to self!) to do all that running, barking and pursuing.  Eventually, he slowed down. While he was resting, Baguette hunkered down in a playful way about 10 feet away, looked straight at him, and waited. After a bit, he didn’t come after her, so she barked a happy invitation. When that didn’t work, she went directly to him, smelled him and even poked him gently with her paw to get him to go after her. 

Baguette is an Aikido master. She turned his aggressive energy into fun for her. She received him right where he was, never resisted him one bit, and invited him to do more of the very thing he was already doing. She didn’t overpower him, manage him, reprimand him or growl–not even close. Not even once! She bounded about the yard as if Jackson was the most fun friend she’d ever met. Eventually, her play and his fear turned into play on both sides. We noticed Jackson’s tail wagging happily even when he was barking. He seemed quite pleased with how things were going.

mac and Baguette

MacKenzie and baby Baguette

We could all learn a little from Baguette, don’t you think? And from Jackson as well!

Jackson was tired and happy after it was all over, as if his long standing fear had been unraveled and drawn out of him like a long ribbon. He seemed lighter and less concerned.

If we apply Baguette’s brilliance to our own life, maybe we could even figure out a thing or two about how to get more playful in our relationships with each other. I watched the impossible happen with Jackson and he’s a better dog since Baguette ran circles around his fear as if it was nothing.

Baguette didn’t see his fear, care that it was fear, or interpret it as fear, so in her presence it vanished. Jackson’s fear mattered not at all to her. Because of how Baguette saw him, maybe his fear transformed. Maybe it lifted. Maybe it emptied out of him.  Perhaps a kind of alchemy occurred and his fear transmuted into play.

How Baguette sees life is that everything’s in her favor. She thinks, “Jackson is here to play with me. Everything is for my enjoyment!”

To top it all off, what a good and fortunate thing to have a friend who “can’t see” your problem!

 

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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