Men often get a bad rap from us women:

thinking they’re kind only when they want something.

I hope my experience during the Boulder Flood changes a few bad raps.

Via Tamara Star on Sep 14, 2013

As I sat on the second story of my house watching the raging river that used to be my street crest onto my driveway, I listened to the online emergency scanner and began to shake, unable to feel my hands. At first I thought wow I’m cold, but then realized I was experiencing trauma.

I heard the dispatcher announce “all rescue units seek higher ground, the city of Boulder is impassable,” and at that point, went into full-blown panic. Sirens were going off, the night was pitch black and I could hear the rushing water going past my front street and behind my house, as the usual small trickle of a creek bed rose past its banks creating a raging river.

While listening to my sump pump going off every 90 seconds, I realized I was mostly afraid of being alone. Since I’m currently single, feeling the cold isolation of being solo in an emergency situation hit home hard.

So I signed onto Facebook. Immediately five male friends began messaging to see if I was okay. Two of them stayed online with me until well-past two in the morning. Another researched evacuation routes and listed multiple posts with maps showing which streets were closed. None of these men are single or available, they weren’t hitting on me, they were being kind.

Even an ex of mine, an off duty fireman cruising the area to lend a random hand where needed, drove past my area just to check on things, and texted to see how I was doing. This man has a current girlfriend that he loves, so he wanted nothing from me – only to check in.

Another husband of a friend offered shelter and reassurance at the same time I was reading a message from his wife offering the same. He had no idea she was messaging me, this man I’ve hardly spoken to, yet in the midst of a storm he reached out.

The last time I looked at the clock, it was 4:45 am.

The next morning I awoke to a male neighbor knocking on my door to make sure I was ok. He hugged me hard and didn’t let go as I pretended to be fine. The rains didn’t let up that day and he and his roommate- another man, took turns stopping by to check up on me. As it started to get worse outside and the waters rose, their visits became more frequent. They knew I was scared without my talking about it.

Many women think men don’t get it, but they do. That night, as it poured even harder, one of them came over just to sit and make me laugh. He asked if I had the Jets game on and even though I didn’t have that cable station, he stayed.So much for the stigma that men get lost in sports and hear nothing we have to say during a big game, eh?

Later that night a girlfriend texted that her husband was coming to town. It was pouring sheets of rain, flash flood alerts were being sent hourly and the emergency information online suggested no one leave their home unless evacuated. I texted back immediately telling her that stores were closing and he shouldn’t come. She texted back saying, he’s not going to the store, he’s coming for you.

After midnight on the second day of rains, Boulder canyon surged sending a 30-foot wall of water through town as sirens went off and Facebook exploded with people wanting to know what was happening. I lost it and cried myself to sleep from exhaustion after day two of not sleeping and awoke to the sound of men scooping mud and debris from the street.

The rains had passed.

I scrambled to get dressed and walked outside. Seems a raging rush of water had filled our street in the night and a group of men had waded through shoulder deep water to take down a fence and let the waters pass. Had they not, our street would have become a fish bowl as water pooled from the mountains.

Under the morning light, I saw groups of men scooping mud, roping off dangerous areas and carrying furniture out of flooded homes. A few friends on search and rescue teams stood by to hop rescue helicopters and join dive teams.

In the pink light of that new day, I realized our men are heros. They are there for us if we let them, and despite equal pay and equal intelligence, we need our men, we need our heroes.

Tamara Star believes we are meant to be happy. She makes her living as an ass kicking coach, healer, speaker, writer, yogi and business woman. If you let her, she’ll transform the life you’re living, into a life you’ll love. Her global reach inspires over 1.2 million people a month through her programs, newsletters and teachings in 20 countries. Connect with Tamara on her site Facebook or Twitter. Tamara’s work has appeared in Blog Her, Think Simple Now, Yoga Mint, The Elephant Journal, Twine Magazine, The Good Men Project, Boulder Life, LinkedIN, and Yoga Anonymous. Do you want to take your life to an even higher and happier level? Her Fresh Start guide is an in-depth deep dive into removing what blocks love, money, health, happiness and joy in your life.

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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