Interview With Terri Crosby

Question: Terri, how did you get started in this Relationship business?

Terri: It came about gradually, and from sustained interest in the subject of partnerships. I also had a personal interest in the subject, because getting a partner was never a problem for me, but keeping a partner was. Early on, I went through men like Kleenex, and  thought that if I could learn to choose the right partner, or find the right circumstances, everything would work out. Obviously, there’s  more to a happy and satisfying love relationship than that. I knew how to have great friends. I didn’t know how to get along over time with a lover, so partnerships became a lifelong study.

Question: Where are you from? Where did you grow up?

Terri: I grew up on a farm in northwestern Iowa, land of blue skies and tall corn. My family was Quaker, and I had five brothers and sisters. We grew a huge and sprawling garden of everything edible, and did canning and freezing all summer long. After graduating from High School, I went to Iowa State University and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Child Development.

Question: What do your clients say about you?

Terri: One thing they say consistently is that I’m good at simplifying. Basically, they bring a long list of issues or a complicated and multi-faceted situation, throw up their hands and say something like, “It’s all too much. I can’t see what to do.”

For some reason, I see threads (connections), which means that multiple situations can be taken care of with one shift in perspective. That’s efficient. That’s worth a person’s time and energy.

Another common response from clients is appreciation for not taking sides. This is often an unspoken concern from male clients, that I might be biased towards their wife. Individuals are also thankful I work with varied lifestyles and approaches.

One technique to allay all concerns with couples about taking sides, is one I call “mouse in the corner.” I work with one partner while the other observes. The silent partner must draw no attention to themselves. No asking questions, interrupting, disagreeing, or protesting. They must be quiet as a mouse.

Miracles occur when one partner is a witness to the other learning. The great advantage to the person not in the hot seat is that s/he can learn more comfortably and shift things they might not otherwise be able to shift.

Also, because I work with each person as if s/he is responsible for the entire relationship, the silent partner watches how that unfolds, and how it will soon be true from their point of view as well.  The process is really illuminating – that’s what people say about it.

Question: How long do you work with your clients?

Terri: Changing the course of a relationship takes time. From my own personal experience, realistically, it takes six months to a year to change the landscape of an intimate relationship. After initiating change, it takes time to integrate it. There is a flow — you learn something new, try it, fall down, get up, and try again.

Typically, I work with people for 3 months to a year. In three months, you see that the quality of your relationship with your partner is totally up to you. The next few months stabilize the new awareness, intention, pattern, path. After that comes positive momentum. After six months or so, outcomes change in powerful and exponential ways.

Question: Who do you work with? Who do you not work with?

Terri: I work with people committed to personal happiness and authentic self-expression. I love working with open, heart-centered individuals and couples who have encountered, shall we say, trouble along the way. I often work with individuals experiencing success in some areas of their life and not others. being successful in business, for instance, but not relationships.

I don’t work with serious depression, trauma, mental illness or addiction.

Question: Is your approach religious at all?

Terri: No, this information is not limited to a certain background, culture, or upbringing.

Question: Anything else you’d like us to know?

Terri: I find great joy in this work. It is both delightful, and satisfying. It’s also entertaining and heartwarming and I think my clients would say the same.

I believe human beings are brave beyond measure, full of possibility, and capable. I believe in my clients. When going through a wobbly or difficult time, it’s a good thing for someone to hold you in love, with confidence in your ability to make beneficial changes, express fully, and evolve. It can make all the difference.

Trackback from your site.

Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

Leave a comment

She’s Got Love Fingers

Christie Lenee can play a guitar. She’s the 2017 International Finger Style Guitar Champion of the Year. In September of last year in London, she also won Acoustic Guitarist of the Year.

But lucky for us, she’s not just a champion guitar player. Christie Lenee is also quite the composer.

A friend of hers, Michael Pukac, requested that she write a song, one he described as “the story of love.” She scribbled notes and went to work.

Through Christie’s ability to imagine, his desire became music. Now she plays this song for the world with her love fingers. Lucky you, lucky me, lucky us.

Take very good care of yourself this week. Why not sing a little…

Love,

Terri

Read more

Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Read more

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Read more

Get in touch

Terri Crosby

Talk to me