Happy Birthday, Eric, Wherever You Are.

Dear Eric,

Happy Birthday, darling. I’ve been thinking of you.

I think of you here and there, or all the time. It depends.

Quite recently I panicked when I couldn’t instantly pull up a visual of your face or recall vividly what it was like to do simple things together: eat a meal, go for a drive or have a chat. It was strangely disconcerting.

And then thank goodness, a photo of you popped in (the one holding your golf clubs after that great shot) and my full recollection of you came back all at once. I was relieved. I didn’t enjoy the “fading from memory” thing…

I wonder what you’ve been up to in the 316 days (not that I’m counting) since you left. I wonder what it’s like to be you — now. Are you YOU, or are you a swirl of love swirling in other swirls of love or what? How does it work? I’d like to know how life is without skin on. Did you get sent to another planet? Are you on a new assignment? Do you know everything now?

You know the new electrician came today. Thanks for sending him. I’m sure he could not possibly be as skilled as you. But I’m glad to have one, not that he (or anyone) could begin to replace your brilliant electrical mind.

Bless his heart, New Electrical Man called at 9 am (which was his scheduled arrival time) to say he was helping his daughter this morning also — on her moving day. What a good father to do that for his daughter! Since my house was on the way to his daughter’s new house, he thought he’d kill two bird with one stone. He’d be arriving soon, he said.

Who knew he’d be driving a darn moving van the size of, well, Canada.

Oh bless this guy! Eric, you probably sent him for the entertainment value alone!  Not to mention the significance of having an electrician come ON your birthday for the very first time since you left the planet. That was a good one, dear. Something to make me smile on your special day.

Anyway, I got a second call from New Electrical Man saying he had turned on the wrong country road and his attempt to turn his vehicle around had failed and landed him in the ditch. He went on to say that a buddy of his who owns a towing company was on his way to pull him out.

Well, good. Finally, New Electrical Man was on his way — up the mountain to our house. OMG. Well,  I’m happy to say he made it, and I’m glad I had no idea he was driving a van the size of a large country up our mountain road.

Praises to the beauty of our being, he got here. Turns out, everything about this guy is super colossal.

He’s 6″5″, not obese, just BIG. He wears jeans the size of Texas and shoes the size of Alabama and the two of us walked around this house together while I pointed out what needed repair or inspection.

Eric, this guy is honest as the day is long, and thank you for that, but let me tell you about his jeans.

They slid down quite regularly.

He was wearing a belt, but it seemed ineffective at best. Mostly, I held my breath and tried not to look.

Lucky for me, he wore a navy T-shirt the length of California and navy underwear that could, I’m sure, cloak the Empire State Building. All that navy saved the day. Not only did everything match, but it did the cover up job perfectly.

There were a few moments, though, when I swear his sliding jeans defied gravity. That was probably you, honey, saving the day from far away. Just so you know, I appreciated that ever so much.

Well, who knew (you probably knew) he was only looking at the job today. He’s coming back next week to actually fix things, and I’m glad for that. Hopefully he won’t be driving a moving van and make sure, will you dear, that he wears lots of navy. I’m not sure I could handle it otherwise.

Well, Eric, you’ve certainly made me smile today. I have to admit, though, the day began with tears. Lots of them. I don’t know what it is about your birthday that’s different than any other day, but it is.

It would make everything better if you could come by for cake. Could you manage that? I’d make you a triple whammy extra delicious something or other if I thought it would get you here for a catch up visit. 

I miss you, but I do feel loved by you every day, including and especially today. Business (the cat) is standing in for you really, really well. Today, he’s practically making out with me (waaaay more than usual). He pushes his face into mine while I’m trying to type. I’m sure that’s you orchestrating the nearest four-legged, and thank you for the kisses.

Love you to the moon and back.

Forever and Always,

 

 

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

Comments (14)

  • Avatar

    Debby

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    And you both make me smile. Love to you this day and every day.

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Deb Rothbart

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    Happy Birthday, Eric! Hi Terri! Loved the simplicity of your description of Eric’s birthday experience through your electrical, worldly experience. Very fun! Very touching! Thanks for sharing. XXOO Deb

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Carol

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    I LOVED reading this Terri… So YOU through and through… humor/honesty/mirth/imagination. We each are fortunate to have married the LOVES of OUR LIVES. He was as lucky to have you as you are to have him. HUGS from the LEFT coast. C

    Reply

  • Avatar

    LizziLaff

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    I love wandering in your world, on your words, and carried along by the openness of your honest feelings. Eric nuzzling your through Business, that is classic Eric. So much love shared in what you say. … Life is…
    Hugs,
    Lizzi

    Reply

  • Avatar

    alice carey

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    Lovely tribute, Terri.
    Happy Birthday, Eric.

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Janet

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    Dear Terri!
    What a beautiful well-written love letter in honor of Eric’s birthday! I’m sure he had something to do with the electrician. Hope you and Mackenzie are doing ok. Miss you both.

    Reply

  • Avatar

    shiner

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    How sweet this is, and your description of this man was impressive:)

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Lynn

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    Beautifully written, Terri.

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Tammy Gregg

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    Very touching. I have sweet memories of the day I got to spend time in your home and time with Eric and your furbabies.

    Reply

  • Avatar

    COREY H. FOWLER

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    C0REY
    February 4, 2018 at 1:02 am | #
    TERRI… WONDERFULLY SWEET & DELICIOUS FROM BEGINNING TO END… 🙂 COREY

    Reply

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Sharron

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    I cried and laughed with you dear Terri. I can very much appreciate the challenges and the courage it takes To balance out the grief and the humor

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Charleene

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    Thank you for sharing so personally. I laughed and cried with you. And I remembered that love transcends all. And that life does go on in multiple layers. Thank you Terri. And thank you Eric!

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Devaya

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    I have a big smile on my face and love in my heart having taken the few moments to share this special day with you.

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, Devaya, as always! Love coming your way, a big happy stream of it.

      Reply

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
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Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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