Excerpt #2 From My Upcoming Book

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In my upcoming book on relationships, I’m discussing a couple who broke up and got back together.  They were giving things a second try.   And what is so striking about giving things a second try is that you have options about how to begin this second chance.  You can bring the past with you, or you can leave it behind and start brand new.  

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When this couple got back together, it offered them both a second chance. Their re-uniting became the brand new start of a love relationship.  The beginning was like a warm bath.  Ahhh! Everybody was happy and warm and they felt good!  They sang each others’ praises and the song of the relationship was pleasant, melodic and beautiful.  There was plenty of purring going on, too, because things were looking up.   These two got to know each other all over again in the spirit of discovery, play, curiosity, and love, just like they had done when they first met.   Life was grand.

When love is fresh and new, we’re like young kids at play.  We’re elated and hopeful.  We expect to have fun, and guess what?  We do!  This joy creates a very powerful kind of positive momentum.  We’re holding someone else in the steady sunshine of our approving gaze.  We find all sorts of reasons to love and appreciate because we’re looking for the good stuff, and we find what we’re looking for.

Being positive is a natural thing, and I believe it is our natural state to look for what is fun, joyful and meaningful, because it connects us with our best self.  And we like it when we are at our best and feel good.  Watch young children at play.  If left to their own devices, they play for the delight of playing and discovering.  They are exuberant. A relationship can start out like that, and it can stay that way in large part if we remember how we began.Snow Elf

And then, as we settle in and spend time around each other, old defaults will for sure creep in. What are yours? Where do you see them?   But defaults are just defaults.  They don’t have to dictate where things go, if we wake up and smell the roses. This is the golden point (seriously it is) where everything good can happen, if we want it to, and if we’re willing to pay attention in new ways.  It’s a pivot place, and it’s full of positive potential.

The interesting thing to me is what if we were able to go to sleep at night, and wake up in a truly sparkling place and manage to spend most of our day in this open and receptive state of mind?    How would our lives change if we could approach most of our day as if each moment was a true beginning?

 

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

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Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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