Excerpt #1 From My Upcoming Book

Blue Peach Sky

I promised an update this week on my upcoming book on Relationships.  I’d like to report that I’m humming merrily along, and I’m about three-quarters of the way there!  Yeaaa! 

Here’s an excerpt for your reading pleasure. 

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On one of my recent trips to buy groceries, a loud child over near the mayonnaise and salad dressing was expressing himself quite fully!  Right about then, a grandma with a slight limp, wearing a frumpy sweater and odd looking pants walked by me in the Italian food section and commented out loud to me as she passed, “Somebody oughta just whoop that child and teach him a thing or two.”

This grandma was a little scary, frankly.  I found myself thinking that maybe she was limping ’cause she had whooped a few too many in her day.  And she herself had probably been whooped a few times, too.

The moment I thought that, I noticed my inner guidance system kick in.  Until then, my inner guidance had been humming quietly in the background.  But in that moment, with that thought about the grandmother, I felt a negative emotion.

Because I was paying attention (good for me), I noticed that the negative thought (a judgment) was followed by negative emotion.  The thought caused an “Ouch” in my heart.  It hurt a little to think what I was thinking.  Imagining her past actions and judging them caused scrunchy, ouchy heart pain in me.  So my good and faithful guidance system alerted me to the fact that following my train of thought was not going to help me, or her, or any of those whooped children in any way (regardless of whether my ideas about her past actions were factually true).

So I stood still for a while after she walked on (I didn’t respond to her verbally) and I took a moment to deliberately remember love, so I could return to a more loving state within myself.  It took some time, but I got there.  No use having two people in pain!  She reminded me that thinking unloving thoughts is like giving yourself a good whoopin’.

I thanked her silently, and said a little prayer right there in the grocery store, holding the pasta sauce that had not yet made it into my cart.  It must have looked a little odd, me holding marinara sauce in quiet prayer.  In these ordinary moments, a grandmother in pain becomes an unlikely angel.  After all, she gave me one of the clearest reminders possible about how to be gentle with myself – and I listened.  How beautiful is that?

It’s ironic that this unhappy, oddly dressed, limping, stern woman reminded me that I have access to wisdom within. Because of this grandmother, I began to think about masters like Jesus and Buddha and Mohamed and the blessed Mother Teresa, right there in the middle of my evening of food shopping, right there in my local grocery store.

I thought about how this grandmother might even want to be Buddha if she knew how — or who knows, maybe she is the Buddha in disguise, like a Saint disguised as a weary traveler at your door, asking for food and shelter.  I thought about all that, too.  But either way, she was doing the best she knew how with what she had. 

I thought about how Mother Teresa is known for visiting the sick or the suffering and simply opening her compassionate heart.  So, for a moment, I pretended to be Mother Teresa.  Seriously, I did.  After all, my given first name is Teresa, and I thought, you know, why not stretch things a little?  So I stretched.  And it was most helpful to pretend to be wiser than I think of myself as being.  It certainly relieved the pain of my judgment in the moment.  And while I was at it, the pasta sauce and I bowed to all the unlikely angels in my life who are doing the best they can with what they have. 

Grazie, sei molto gentile.  (Thanks, you are very kind.)

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

Comments (8)

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    Mary-Elizabeth

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    “She reminded me that thinking unloving thoughts is like giving yourself a good whoopin’.”

    So true.

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, Mary-Elizabeth! It’s nice to hear from you. I appreciate the high five across the miles. love, Terri

      Reply

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    Keldwyn

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    Wow Terri, I am so happy to hear you are writing a book…for sure I will buy a copy hot off the press…! I also just read the blog about the nature show on TV and your dream…is this going to be somewhere in the book? It was very very powerful for me. You are a GIFTED writer.
    I currently have a coach helping me with my writing…I have been working on this book for over 17 years, am on Version 8 and am READY TO GET IT OUT THERE.
    Am going to speak briefly tonight at the Center for Spiritual Healing before Rob does several more healings. I have had pretty remarkable results over the last week and hope to see you guys there…think Eric might especially benefit, whether as a surrogate (get there early to fill out forms) or to just receive all the healings given to others on the Stage. Everyone benefits from these. I have been every week during January! Love you both.
    Keldwyn

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, Keldwyn!! Write on as they say (!!) and thanks for sharing about what works. Love! Terri

      Reply

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    Cornelia Powell

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    Terri…hello and congrats on your book progress…..yippeeeee….
    Cornelia

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, Cornelia! I know you’re a PRO at the book thing, so thank you for your thumbs up! I really, really love writing! That’s a very good thing, since I’m doing a lot of it lately. I’m curious what your book writing process is like for you, if you’re willing to share a bit. Love, Terri

      Reply

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    Ariel Marsh

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    I experienced something similar last week after I saw a picture on my Facebook feed of someone from the past with whom I had (or so I thought) long forgiven. As soon as I saw the picture, a very uneasy feeling came over me followed by negative emotions based on old hurts.. I tried to brush these feelings away but that only made them stronger.

    I inquired within as to why, after all this time, I had such a reaction to this person’s photograph.Within a few seconds, I realized that there were lingering resentments coming to the surface that required my focused attention. I smiled to myself and called on the power of unconditional love to fill me as well as this individual. Within less than a minute, tears of joy filled my eyes. A deeper resolution of the old hurts occurred instantly and when I looked at the picture again, deep feelings of freedom and compassion filled the space between us.

    It is a supreme gift to oneself and the world at large when mindfulness illuminates our way.

    Reply

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      Terri Crosby

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      This is beautiful, Ariel! Thank you for sharing this!
      love, Terri

      Reply

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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