Donald, You’ve Taught Me So Much Already

 

dear-mr-trunp

Dear Mr. Trump,

I am writing to you in appreciation for what I’ve learned about myself and our country since a couple of short Tuesdays ago when you became President Elect.

If I’ve learned deep and abiding lessons already, the impact of the next several years promises to be pretty amazing, that’s for sure, because things have only just begun. The train hasn’t even left the station.

When I woke up the morning after the election, Mr. Trump, I learned that more change is good just messypeople in the U.S. believe what you believe than I thought.

This didn’t depress me or throw me sideways, but I have to say it was surprising, even enlightening. I decided that I must be a little out of touch with how my larger community of brothers and sisters is feeling.

I asked myself, “Do I live in a bubble?”

My sweet home near Asheville, NC is a community of people who tend to be inclusive and accepting. My friends, neighbors and Asheville people in general are kind and personable. They want simple things like loving relationships, and time to enjoy nature, the great outdoors, and animals. They are mostly business-brainy, hands in the soil, creative types who blossom and thrive, and hope others do as well.

My friends are the type who appreciate every color of the rainbow, so to speak.

Your victory made me wonder about the people who voted for you. In essence, do they want the same things as the people I know around here? (The key word being “essence.”) 

Or do they want different things? I also wonder what your supporters expect from you, specifically and in their own words, over a cup of tea and a crumpet.

I also wonder what they believe about themselves.

And finally, I wonder if we’re miles and miles apart, or there’s some common ground.

I’m not quite sure why so many smart people are spending valuable time and energy these days being afraid of what’s to come. For one thing, worrying is a little like paying interest on money you haven’t yet borrowed.

Although being afraid is an understandable and common human experience, it doesn’t help anything or anyone. I’ve learned this by being a shaking leaf myself from time to time.

I’ve also learned that living in fear often makes the very thing we’re afraid of come true because we tend to get what we pay attention to, whether we want that thing or not.

SO MANY EMOTIONS!

Other friends of mine are depressed and down in the dumps since November 8. Some are grieving. Some are angry. Writer Anne Lamott said, “Tell me what breaks your heart and I will tell you your purpose.”  Maybe these devastated people will find their true calling as a result of you being elected.

Wouldn’t that be interesting if a lot of good came out of something they view as terrible? Maybe there’s a silver lining for them.  

Still others are resentful, saying the election was an unfair fight. At somewhere around 10 years old I had a fight with my older brother, and I learned that fights are not by nature either fair or fun. It seems to me that quite a few people in this world grew up with siblings, or have been in a fight personally, and would surely have learned this, too.

But again, my bubble problem rises to the surface. Apparently I’m out of touch with the pulse of my larger human family. I clearly have a lot to learn.

The people I call friends who are upset about the election are strong people. Good people. Loving people. They didn’t vote for you, Mr. Trump, in the booth, but I wonder if they remember the other way to vote.

A most powerful and influential vote is cast when a group of like-minded people who know who they are, conduct their daily business with love.

It seems to me that results of any possible shenanigans going on, say for instance, in the houses of government in Washington, DC,  would pale in comparison to the effect of hundreds or thousands of loving people being who we are, standing in who we are, expressing who we are.

Maybe it’s the Quaker in me, but I believe that being calm in the storm, when violence or ugliness breaks out for instance, is the sane thing to do.

The moment I become the thing I hate, I’ve lost my power completely. I cannot help anyone, let alone myself.

ONE SURPRISE INVITES ANOTHER

A couple of weeks ago, you surprised many U.S. citizens by winning the Electoral College vote. Over the next four years, “we, the people” might very well surprise you back. Who knows how this relationship with you will turn out. There are so many possibilities.

Maya Angelou said, Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” 

I’m writing to let you know, Mr. President Elect, that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to trust love one more time.

Blessings to you and your family and Happy Holidays,

signature-terri

 

 

 

 

 

Terri Crosby

 

 

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

Comments (15)

  • Avatar

    Pat Johnson

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    My dear Terri,
    You have done it again. What a beautiful message.
    Much love and many hugs,
    Pat

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, Pat. And thanks for letting me know. I appreciate it!

      Reply

  • Avatar

    Joyce

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    Incredible! Thank you for your ‘HIGHER PERSPECTIVE’.

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, Joyce. I appreciate you saying a few words in return. It’s nice to hear how the message is landing.

      Reply

  • Avatar

    Gary Smith

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    You never cease to amaze me! A well said statement.

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you, Gary! Thanks for writing. It’s always nice to hear from people after writing!

      Reply

  • Avatar

    Holli

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    Absolutely on point! Love your statement:
    “worrying is a little like paying interest on money you haven’t yet borrowed.”
    I can just see you and Ted in an argument, especially coming from two intelligent and passionate individuals! xoxo

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Terri Crosby

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      Holli, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed the blog. Yes, the fight with Ted was quite something. I remember we drew blood (the only time I remember that happening) and I remember standing by our wood burning stove afterwards. Maybe Mom made us stand there together and get over ourselves, I don’t remember!

      Reply

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    Diane Hammar

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    Thank you for expressing so eloquently what we’re all thinking.. Perfect!

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you for letting me know, Diane. I appreciate it!

      Reply

  • Avatar

    Geri

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    Dearest Terri,

    So well said!! You have said perfectly what is on so many minds right now.!!! We are all adjusting to this new world we now live in …….we will stay the course and continue loving as we always do because love always wins!!!

    Hugs
    Geri

    Reply

    • Avatar

      Terri Crosby

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      Thank you Geri! Yes, keep being who you are! Nothing about that has changed.

      Reply

  • Avatar

    shiner

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    This is great, the letter format is so fitting to what you deliver. Thanks!

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Nancy Newlin

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    Terri,

    Your post took me back to a similar situation in my life:

    Many years ago, when I was working as a librarian in Bakersfield, California, prop 13 passed and the result was that I lost half my staff at the branch library I was managing. A group of present and former library workers got together to rant and rave and bemoan the results of that proposition passing, but by the second meeting of that group—which had no purpose other than to rail against what happened—I decided not to join them again. The deed was done, couldn’t be undone, and therefore I saw that for me the only course was to go forward. So not much longer after that, having met some people at a workshop from the northern part of the state, and knowing that the library management hierarchy was going to hang onto their jobs until they died in the saddle, I cashed in my retirement savings and headed off to the Bay area in search of a job in the upcoming computer/electronics industry. And that’s where I spent the rest of my 30+ years in California.

    Reply

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

Terri’s book of photography combined with poetry is here! 100 Words: Small Servings of Whimsy and Wisdom to Calm the Mind and Nourish the Heart.

Read more

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Check Out This Troublemaker in Relationships

Sometimes we ask intimate partners to do for us what is actually ours to do.

We ask our partner to give us the reassurance, love or appreciation we feel is missing in ourselves, with the hope that they will give us what we’re asking for—and then we’ll feel better. They’ll take care of our problem.

But when they do give us what we’re asking for, it can never be enough, because we have insufficient context for what they’ve given. We haven’t build the inner foundation to receive it, hear it, welcome it, believe it. They try to help, but their love for us falls into our void, our black hole, our love bucket with no bottom.

As always, there’s hope. Check out the video below.

Terri Crosby. http://www.incareofrelationships.com/.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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Terri Crosby

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