3 Ways to Cope With Life And Love

boat sitting Written by Terri Crosby for In Care of Relationships

You got married, and thought your troubles were over?  You were counting on “happily ever after?” My recent post, “Help!  The Honeymoon Is Over!  Now What?”  describes the post-honeymoon crash, when the blushing love blossom falls, and a new chapter begins. After the honeymoon, we face relationship patterns that we thought we got rid of by getting a new partner. But alas.  The pattern followed us because —  it’s ours.

Awareness — It’s Pivotal

Because we are who we are, and we’ve lived our life, we’ve learned what we know. We have learned relationship practices that work well and support us beautifully. And we’ve picked up some practices along the way that Too Darn Tireddon’t support us.  We are worn out, bedraggled, confused, or ready to give up and throw in the towel. Awareness is the first step to shift anything.  We must see what to change. And what so we see? We see what’s not working.   We see what cramps our happiness.  If something feels tight or makes us grumpy, sooner or later, it’s going to take us where those things go. And they don’t go anywhere pretty. Not really.

3 Ways to Cope

Below are three beliefs that remind us we are creating our lives step by step.  There is freedom in knowing the buck stops with us.  This simplifies everything. Feel free to try these on.  How do they fit for you?
  1. I believe that if it’s good, I did it.  If it’s not so good, I did it, too. Either way, yep, I did it.  This is one of the greatest-of-all simplifiers.  It’s about taking responsibility.  There is great power and possibility if the buck stops with me.
  2. I believe that life is reflective and offers constant guidance.  I have two choices  — resist guidance or make use of guidance.  Resisting guidance makes for slow going on the long and winding road.  Welcoming guidance makes creating something new possible and more efficient as well.
  3. I believe that everything is FOR me, not against me.  Everything.  No exceptions.  My point of view is that if I have a problem, it is there for good reason.  It is there to help me get clear, see what I have been thinking, see what I want or need, and assist me in getting to the next step.  Issues are for me.  Life is for me.  My partner is for me.
Do you believe these things?  Let me know!  If you try one on, I’d love a report!

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For more information about In Care of Relationships, click here.

About Terri Crosby — I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains with Eric, my partner of 15 years, two cats and a dog, and as many flowers and vegetables as I can plant.  I love really good food, good friends, good relationships!

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Terri Crosby

Helping you create life-affirming, ever-evolving, happier relationships with those you love. Follow me on twitter at@TerriCrosby or read myblog.

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    shiner

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    These are excellent basics of life.

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She’s Got Love Fingers

Christie Lenee can play a guitar. She’s the 2017 International Finger Style Guitar Champion of the Year. In September of last year in London, she also won Acoustic Guitarist of the Year.

But lucky for us, she’s not just a champion guitar player. Christie Lenee is also quite the composer.

A friend of hers, Michael Pukac, requested that she write a song, one he described as “the story of love.” She scribbled notes and went to work.

Through Christie’s ability to imagine, his desire became music. Now she plays this song for the world with her love fingers. Lucky you, lucky me, lucky us.

Take very good care of yourself this week. Why not sing a little…

Love,

Terri

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Rise Up by Andra Day

What a great set of words for these oncoming days.

Rise Up

 
You’re broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can’t find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
And I’ll rise up
High like the waves
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
When the silence isn’t quiet
And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe
And I know you feel like dying
But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet
And move mountains
Bring it to its feet
And move mountains
And I’ll rise up
I’ll rise like the day
I’ll rise up
I’ll rise unafraid
I’ll rise up
And I’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
All we need, all we need is hope
And for that we have each other
And for that we have each other
And we will rise
We will rise
We’ll rise, oh, oh
We’ll rise
I’ll rise up
Rise like the day
I’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we’ll rise up
High like the waves
We’ll rise up
In spite of the ache
We’ll rise up
And we’ll do it a thousand times again
For you
For you
For you
For you
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Cassandra Monique Batie / Jennifer Decilveo
Rise Up lyrics © BMG Rights Management

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Rippling Abs, Anyone?

Rippling Abs, Anyone?

During this strange time in history, I noticed y’all were tackling all sorts of interesting projects. I decided I needed one, too—something positive to remember the pandemic of 2020 by.
 
I decided to pay attention to something I had abandoned…
 
Nope, I’m not cleaning my garage. I am not organizing one single thing. I’m not planting a garden or cleaning up my yard.
 
Instead, I decided to take care of myself better. This, folks, has made all the difference for me.
 
With relatively little time and effort on my part, I feel so much better than I did a month ago.
 
On March 30, I got on the exercise bike and the yoga mat for the first time in a long time, and did 30 minutes each. I liked it so much that I decided to do it every day. But I fell short of that, and changed my commitment to every other day, which felt more manageable, reasonable, and doable.
 
I also get off the bike after every song, take a couple of sips of water, shake out my legs and arms for a few seconds, and get back on. This makes the bike project a reasonable proposition, too.
 
Daily walks of any length—by myself, or with my little guy, Jackson—are a fresh air bonus.
 
My recumbent exercise bike has pulleys to work my upper body while I pedal, which gets my heart rate up fast, and also helps my whole-body strength. It feels good to get up from writing, or doing a consulting session with a client, to do something physically challenging while listening to good music.
 
After only a month, I feel a sheet of muscles on the front of me I haven’t felt for a very, very long time. Goodness gracious. Who knew they were there. I’ll be posting rippling ab photos soon, I’m sure.
 
I have no idea what the scales have to say about my bike/yoga project—I don’t care. Paying attention to scales tends to send me sideways, and therefore, I’m ignoring them completely.
 
But—I LOVE the way I feel! Hang in there, everyone.
 

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